‘I want to do lots of things to you, but yes, chastisement motivated me. Initially. Partially. I was making a point.’ He kisses my hand, the ghost of a smile lurking in his mouth. ‘Do you know you’ve gone an exquisite shade of pink?’
‘I know you do that on purpose, say things to make me blush.’ I roll my eyes despite my limbs loosening, his words humming against my skin.
‘Ah, you uncover my naked villainy.’
‘Keep your naked villainy where it is, thanks.’ I giggle behind my hand.
‘Then you’ll need to remove temptation.’ His expression falters, creases forming on his brow. ‘I won’t say I’m sorry for last night because it would be a lie. But when I discovered you’d gone home with... Matt, I assumed the worst.’ I open my mouth as he places a finger against my lips. ‘I was convinced you were playing games and I saw red, blood red. I was so angry and I didn’t handle it well. And yes, I wanted to punish you. Give you a taste of my hurt.’ Leaning forward, he kisses me once, butterfly soft.
‘Forgive me. But your reactions were beyond receptive. It made me want to push you further, beyond boundaries I felt you’d set. I thought for a mad moment that maybe you’d done this before. Or maybe I just didn’t think at all.’ He shakes his head and the words away. ‘Your reaction afterwards was a complete shock. I truly didn’t anticipate you would be so lachrymose.’
I think I need a dictionary this morning. It’s way too early for such big words.
‘This is all new to me,’ I whisper. I can’t look at him. I’m embarrassed. I know so little and feel such a fool. ‘I wasn’t aware there were any differences between spankings.’ My face flames and I can’t believe I even got the word out. Up until last night spanking was in the realms of chastisement, for small children, and from a time past. Definitely not something you do for kicks. ‘I don’t understand.’Anything. I don’t understand any of it.
‘I know,habibti. That’s what makes this all the more gratifying, that you would try. That you would trust.’
‘Wait, but who mentioned my leaving with Matt?’
‘A text. Full of suggestion. I let it cloud my judgement.’ His fingertips touch my cheek, his eyes wide and clear.
‘Essam, I’ll bet. I saw him at the marina. He kept banging on about Riyadh for some reason.’
Kai’s hand stops, fingers fastening on my chin. ‘What exactly did he say?’
‘Something about a merger, I told him I wasn’t interested. Then he got pretty arsey when Niamh rocked up. Seems he’s got one of her friends stashed in a flat and he’s given this girl a fake name and everything. Obviously, the chick doesn’t know about his wife.’
‘Oh.’ His lips part and I notice he’d had them held them in a firm line. ‘Did he have anything else to say?’
I shake my head. ‘He left after that. You don’t seem very surprised, about what he’s been up to, I mean. Did you know?’
‘About the apartment? Yes.’
‘And you think that’s okay?’
‘It’s not my concern.’ Shrugging, he turns onto his back and stretches out across the bed.
Tiny cold feet run along my spine. This isn’t right. How can anyone condone stringing two women along, and one of them a wife?
‘She’s a person, Kai. Not a commodity. And new here. Like me.’ Lightning fast, I recall fragments of conversation, my mind drawing parallels as perceptions shift, my thoughts rearranging rapidly. Conversations, warnings, the things Niamh had to say. The fact that not moments ago he could be so blasé about screwing someone else’s wife. I jerk upright in the bed. ‘I can’t believe it.’
‘What, what is it?’ Sitting, his hand grasps my arm, his eyes intense. ‘You mustn’t believe anything he says.’
‘Not him. You!’
‘Don’t confuse me with him,’ he says, his hand falling away
‘Why? You both fuck around.’
‘Kate,’ he utters, confused. ‘You have to know you mean the world to me.’
I jump out of bed, dragging the sheet with me. ‘How? How am I supposed to know exactly? Maybe you treat all your friends this way.’
‘Friends? What, you take issue—you think there’s a title to encompass what we have?’
‘I thought it was maybefriends who fuck?’ My tone is arsey again.
‘People who fuck can never be friends.’ His voice is quiet, frighteningly so, and in complete contrast to my own. ‘Relationships have balance, not equality. Give and take.’
