‘Show him that one about the girl off her face on coke. You know, the one who impaled herself on steel fence post. Through her hoo-ha, no less.’
‘No, don’t show me that.’ Revulsion craws across my skin. I’ve seen what metal can do to flesh and bone. I don’t need any kind of rerun.
‘Feeling a bit queasy, little brother?’
‘Because I don’t want to look at something that looks like a shish kebab?’
‘It’d look more like a donner after that kind of trauma.’
‘Guys, stop.’ Nell shakes her head disparagingly. I suppose we do sound like a couple of squabbling kids. ‘You know it’s just an X-ray, Mel, not a freak show. Anyway, the patient was fine following surgery. She was very lucky. Well, apart from still being under arrest. ‘Who’s playing Mario Kart?’ she adds, looking around.
But that sound isn’t the coin collection from the classic video game.
It’s a Tinder notification.
‘Excellent!’ cries Melody, clapping her hands like an excited child before making a grab for Nell’s phone.
‘Have you installed a Mario Kart app on my phone?’ I’m not sure whether the idea amuses her or pisses her off. Either way, Nell stretches out to grab it back.
‘Nope!’ Mel swings a little on her twisty stool, avoiding Nell’s attempts. ‘And of course I didn’t install Mario,’ she sniggers. Meanwhile, I grit my teeth, knowing exactly where this is going. ‘I installed Tinder on it.’
‘Mel, what the hell?’
‘I’d have asked you first, but you’d have only said no.’
‘And that’s supposed to make it better?’ she asks incredulously.
‘No, easier. For me, at least.’
As Melody unlocks Nell’s phone, I reconsider my dick pic plan. Although, if she’s going to go snooping, it’s not like she doesn’t deserve a nasty shock. The flip side of that is payback.
‘Give her her phone back, Mel.’
‘I will. In a minute,’ she says, twisting away from me this time. ‘Look someone likes you!’
‘You make it sound as though that’s incredible—as though I’m thoroughly unlikable,’ Nell mutters.
‘Everyone like you, Nell. You’re just nice.’
‘You make it sound like an insult.’
‘I love you! You’re the best. I just think you need to think of yourself more. Live in the moment—seize life by the balls!’
‘You mean have casual sex.’ As Nell’s gaze touches mine, a rush of pink touches her cheeks.
‘No, I’ve given up on that plan,’ Melody responds, her attention still on the phone. ‘I know you haven’t got it in you.’ I manage not to crack up, though I can’t say the same for Nell.
‘Well, I haven’t got it in me now...’ she murmurs, her dark gaze meeting mine over the rim of her glass. ‘But I have high hopes!’ If there was ever a phrase that made my dick perk up, it would be something along those lines.
‘What?’ Melody doesn’t wait for an answer, apparently studying a profile image a little too intently. ‘He’s cute, isn’t he?’ Though her question isn’t directed at me, I lean over her shoulder for a quick glimpse, though see nothing as she moves the phone from my view. ‘Swipe right! Yeah, baby. I’d swipe right on thatallnight.’
‘Swipe what?’ asks Nell. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘Does your boyfriend know you’re Tinder trawling, sister mine?’
‘I’ll explain it to you later,’ Mel says, ignoring me. ‘Look.’ Stretching her arm out across me, she gives Nell a quick look at the profile in question. ‘He’s fit, isn’t he?’
‘I suppose,’ she mumbles, her gaze flicking to mine so quickly I might have mistaken the motion.
