‘Aye?’ Loosening my hold, I wipe a hand down my damp face. ‘It’s just, I suppose you think you’ve grown—moved on. Think that the universe has no more lessons to give. No more surprises around the corner. Then it throws you curves like this.’ Like magnets, my hands move to the heaviness of her teardrop-shaped tits, and despite my suddenly dour mood, my cock flickers back to life.
‘I want to be straight with you.’ I tip my head against the edge of the bath, speaking my truth into the damp air. ‘I know we’ve only met twice, but I haven’t felt like this about anyone in a long time.’ She makes to move again, inhaling as though to speak. ‘But I can’t be with you. Not like you deserve a man to be.’
‘That last bit? I think that’s my line,’ she says, sort of laughing. ‘You know, I think I get to decide what’s best for me. Did you forget I just got out of a relationship? We were together three long years. I’m not looking for that right now.’
‘Two years? You must’ve been about twenty when you met him.’
‘Again with the sweet-talking! I was twenty-six,’ she says. ‘And I’m plenty old enough to decide what’s right for me.’
‘Aye, but—’
‘But nothing. I like you. And I want to be with you, but not in the way thatyou’rethinking. Not in the way you’re afraid of.’
‘Who says I’m afraid?’ The thought of another relationship is fucking terrifying; not that I need to say it out loud.
‘Come on, Keir. Don’t make this any harder than it already is.’ Her hand snakes between us, her fingers giving my cock a swift tug. ‘I like you, you like me, and together, we’re a dynamite fuck.’
I grunt, pushing up into her hand. Dragging my hands down her body, I push them to the inside of her thighs. ‘I don’t want to hurt you.’
‘That’s not what you said earlier.’ Her voice is a soft tease as, from behind, I slide my hands between her thighs. She moans so beautifully, the sound echoing off the tiled walls. There’s such sweet agony in her tone as I press my fingers against the purpling marks of my teeth.
‘Do they hurt?’ My voice is hoarse, and the need to hear her answer consuming as I hook my legs around hers to pull them farther apart.
Her damp hair tickles my chest as she nods. ‘Like the best kind of hurt.’
‘Think you’d like me to tie you up again?’
‘Uh-huh.’ Her arms come up out of the water, looping around the back of my head. Thrusting her tits out, she raises her pussy to my touch. Everything drops away as she begins to pant gently as my finger applies pressure to her clit.
I block everything else out—my fear and feelings and how my base reactions are so wrapped up in this woman I feel like I’m bleeding out.In the heat of the moment and the steam of the room, I somehow convince myself that I can make this work without either of us getting hurt.
Chapter 17
PAISLEY
As much as I didn’t want to, I left Keir that Saturday morning before he awoke even though my body longed for a few more hours of sleep next to him. But he’d made his position more than clear, and I understood. Even though his words stung, they were also a good reminder. Something I needed to hear.
Since then, there have been other Fridays. Some which have led to lazy hotel Saturday mornings, and others which have ended with one of us creeping out before the morning fully comes to life.
Like this morning.
We ate a rare dinner together last night—we usually feed our more pressing hunger before satiating the other much later from the room service menu. But not yesterday. We ate together. Broke bread, drank wine. Talked about everything and nothingbeforethis time. Then later, I watched him sleep. Watched as the dawn peeped through a chink in the heavy drapes, gilding his golden-brown head. Then I dressed in the semi-darkness and crept like a thief from the room.
Fridays have become my favourite, though they do leave me feeling like I’ve experienced a punishing yoga class come Saturday morning.Just like now.In Chas’s kitchen, I stretch my legs out along the window seat, relishing the aches, each one tied to a sensation or memory from yesterday.
His dark gaze as I’d peeled him from his jeans.
His carnal groan as I’d taken his cock between my lips.
The way he looked as I’d cried when I came the second time.
In some ways, it seems we were made for the other. Yet I know we can never be more than we are on Fridays, and I’m okay with that.Mostly. Sometimes life is just too hard to force in the direction you most want it to go. It is what it is, and I remind myself of this daily.
My dad used to say that people came into your life for either a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
Robin was a learning curve. And in my time with him, I learned.Boy, did I. I moved from one side of the world to the other. Moved from what was familiar to what was almost alien. In the process, I came out of my shell a whole lot. Made what I thought were friends. And I flourished for a while. Later, I learned how resilient I truly am. Learned how my heart had the capacity to heal itself.
Chastity is in my life for the long haul whether she knows it or not! That girl picked me up, gave me a place to heal, and then a place to live. And later, a reason to get out of bed. I hope I’ll never need to return the favour because I don’t want her ever to go through what I did. Also, I can’t imagine I’d have much to offer her if the tables were turned. Support? Sure. A safe place to fall? Definitely. A swanky pad in Chelsea? Not unless I win lotto. A job? I suppose she could hold my makeup brushes...
