‘It almost makes me wish Robin was sitting at our table. I would’ve had somewhere to shove this dragon fruit.’
She starts to giggle. ‘But darling, they wouldn’t dare shove superstar Robin in the back of the room with us.’
Yep, because we’re atthattable. The one you see at every wedding with the mismatched inhabitants—distant relatives and oddballs.
Her giggles stop abruptly, her gaze sliding over my shoulder. ‘I want to punch his pudding face so bad.’ In truth, it’s more of a glare than a look. ‘We need a whole barrel of dragon fruit because that skank is here now, too.’
The champagne bubbles turn to acid on my tongue. Chas has met Tamara before, but she must be mistaken. ‘It must be someone else,’ I reply. ‘He’s an asshole, but he wouldn’t be so cruel... ’ Because this isn’t what grown-ups do.
‘If it’s not her,’ Chastity begins, ‘then Satan’s freed her doppelgänger dog from hell today. Doppelbanger, maybe. Ow, sweetie, I can’t feel my hand.’
I release her fingers, and she shakes her hand repeatedly before snatching a glass of champagne from a passing waitress, swapping it for the empty one threatening to crack in my hand.
‘Don’t. Don’t you dare,’ she whispers fiercely. ‘If you cry, I’m going toreallygive you something to cry about.’
‘Okay,Mom.’ My words come out on a smiling half-sob as she repeats something every mother everywhere has said. Though for me, it would be something my grandma, long since passed, would’ve said.Don’t let them see you’re upset. Hold that head high.But these aren’t sad tears now. These are angry motherfuckers. Tears of fire and temper. ‘That absolute.. . lowlife,lying, stinking ...bastard.’
‘Come on, you can do better than that,’ Chas says.
‘He’s a needle-dick butt fucker,’ I almost yell, causing the grandmotherly type on the other side of the table to mutter, ‘Well, really.’ Only in a much fancier accent.Well, riiiley!Thankfully, but for her and the even older gentleman sitting by her side—who appears to have nodded off—our other tablemates have vacated the space.
‘That was a good one, but I think I’ll still go and throat punch a bitch.’
‘No.’ I put my hand on her arm. ‘Not here.’ The bride and groom don’t need that kind of reminder of their day. I can’t help but glance behind me, and this time, I see the bitch’s smug-ugly face.And Robin’s arm looped around the back of her chair.
‘That bitch,’ I breathe. ‘Taking my man is one thing, but she’s wearing my fucking dress!’
‘What?’ Chastity’s head whips around. ‘But she’s—oh my God!’ Her eyes sparkle with malicious glee as she sees what I mean. Tamara is wearing theexactsame gown as I am. ‘Did you tell her what you were wearing?’
‘When? Before I found her vagina inhaling Robin? No, of course not. But his stylist did. She chose the thing and paid for it with Robin’s credit card.’
I suddenly feel very uncomfortable. I’m here wearing a dress he paid for. In fact, during our relationship, he paid for most things. But we were partners—we shared a life. Sure, I was sharing less than him in the monetary stakes, but that was because I had less. I mean, he took care of the bills, but I still paid my way. We were getting married—it was supposed to be a partnership. And if he’d wanted to borrow my Shishido illuminator or my Chanel bronzer, I’d have no problem with that. I would’ve given him anything.
Like my heart.
And look how careless he was with that.
‘So little Miss Opens-Her-Legswas so jealous, she stole not only your man but also your dress. That is so low.’
I shrug because that’s all I’ve got. What the hell am I doing? Two months ago, I was looking at honeymoons in Bora-fucking-Bora, and now I’m more annoyed that she’s stolen my dress? It just doesn’t make sense.
‘She can keep them—both of them. My only regret is that we’re in Claridge’s. If we were anywhere else, I’d be tempted to whip off the tablecloth to wear like a toga and stuff this piece of designer loveliness in the trash.’
‘How about some perfect payback instead?’
‘I could go for payback. As long as it’s not going to land us in jail for the night.’
‘I didn’t have anything illegal in mind. Immoral, maybe.’ She places her glass down. ‘AndIwasn’t planning on doing anything. Well, other than molesting the best man.’
‘I thought the groom was your not-so-secret crush?’
‘My recently married crush. The best man, however, is single still.’
‘And a decade older than you are, at least.’
‘Stop changing the subject. I have a dastardly plan to impart! Revenge of the most delicious kind. Well, don’t look too excited,’ she says with an impatient huff.
‘It’s hard to be excited when I see that glint in your eye.’
