It’s probably not the best idea, but that’s me when I have a plan—I just go for it.And look where it’s gotten me now, I think darkly, as the cab pulls up to the front of the club.And look where it’s gotten Sadie, more to the point.
When I’d accused Mac of being to blame for my joining the Den, I wasn’t being completely honest. I’d expressed an interest in joining the club before he and Ella became an item. That I’m still a member is probably more to do with my appetites than not having him around quite as much. That said, I’m here less often now that the novelty has worn off. But there was a time when I first joined that I attended every function and every show. If there was a party? A demonstration? A flogging? A casual fuck? Hell, an orgy? I was there. I did it all. Well, almost all.
But the Den suited my needs. And the way I looked at it, I need a community that accepted me. A place that wouldn’t try and fix my life by matching me up with a woman. A place I could fuck in peace, without the bullshit of having to maintain the façade of a relationship.
That sounds more brutal than I’d like. And more honest than I usually manage, but I’m feeling a little raw today. So I blame Sadie for getting under my skin. And Julian for being able to give her what I can’t. Though whether his intentions to do so or not remain to be seen, but I still envy the fuck out of him for his freedom. The image of her holding our baby is fucking haunting me, and the phantom scent of her on my fingers is a torture like nothing else.
My cab pulls up at the black door flanked by topiary bay trees. Tall sash windows sit on either side of the door, heavy drapes at the windows. I hand over my fare to the driver who slides me a knowing look. The building might look like a high-end home, and the clientele might be discreet, but the place isn’t a complete secret. For starters, the Den has a website, though at a casual glance a reader may not be able to tell what the site is immediately advertising. Second, it was only a couple of years ago that the tabloids got wind of the place. There was some kind of scandal, as I recall. A politician caught playing away from home with a female colleague. He was photographed leaving the club, the fool. Politicians are generally an untrustworthy lot I’ve found. This one also happened to be a little stupid. You can’t expect to win a place in Parliament on the strength of your supposed family values, and not anticipate someone to dig a little more than surface deep to expose you for a fake.
Not if you’re kinky, at any rate.
So while the Den is a secret, it’s not a terribly well kept one.
I sign in, hand over my phone—a requirement to maintain privacy—then walk across the vast black and white tiled foyer, and into the main salon. I order a drink, then I see him sitting near the fireplace alone.
Seated in one of a pair of wing back chairs, a glass of something clear sits on the table in front of him. Somehow I know it’s not water. I feel like I’ve barely blinked and yet I’m already there, standing in front of him.
‘Mind telling me what the fuck you’re playing at?’ I keep my tone cool as I slide into the chair opposite his.
‘Will, my old friend! How are you?’ Thankfully, his pupils look normal. Maybe he’s not completely off his face tonight. ‘Have you brought the lovely Sadie with you,’ he asks, making a show of looking toward the door. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he is off his face.
‘What do you think,’ I ask, leaning forward, elbows on my knees. ‘Can you see her here?’ Because I can’t. Not in a million years.
‘Oh, if I close my eyes and imagine,’ he begins with a sigh and a smile—the kind that I know women eat up. He fools so many of them. ‘I think she’d look rather pretty sat just here on her knees.’ His hand falls open on the arm of the chair, indicating a space on the floor.
If Sadie was going to be on her knees it wouldn’t be for him.
‘Cut the crap, Julian. She wouldn’t come here. She’s a complete novice.’ One long term boyfriend, she’d said. Followed by a three-year dry spell. She’s not the kind of girl who goes looking for kink or casual in a place like this.
‘Oh, I’m aware. Though she seems to be enamoured with you.’
‘Then why the hell are you sniffing around?’ I manage not to growl, keeping my tone and temper in check in an effort to get what I want.
‘Maybe I want to date the girl. Make an honest woman out of her.’
I don’t like the insinuation in this; take a girl and make her a woman? He’s more likely to make her a whore. If what I’ve seen in here is indicative of anything, it’s that he likes to share the women he fucks.
His expression clouds, fingers scratching his chin in a show of consideration.
‘You forget, I know the real you.’ And I’m starting to think he belongs in some kind of hospital or mental facility.Or rehab unit.He’s got some nerve. ‘So don’t bother trying to pull that crap with me.’
‘Seems like she’s not the only one enamoured. Tell me, how did that lovely piece of arse end up at my birthday party on your arm? Especially given she was there for me.’ His words harden, his gaze suddenly like flint. ‘What did you do with my delicious American birthday gift, William? Did you fuck her?’
‘You couldn’t even remember her. Or maybe it was more that you couldn’t see her for all that silicone.’
‘I was off my face,’ he says with a defensive shrug. ‘And Candy’s in porn.’ He says this with such relish, I think I’m supposed to be impressed. ‘And since when do you care who I fuck, unless you’re on the other end.’
‘I don’t.’ My assertion comes out more growl this time. ‘And that’s not going to happen because Sadie’s a friend.’
He picks up his glass from the low table, his fingers grasped around the rim like an arcade claw game. ‘A friend you’ve fucked?’ He asks evenly, sliding the glass into the palm of his hand, his gaze rising slowly to meet mine.
‘Keep on asking,’ I grate out.
‘Man,’ he says with a smile that would make Goebbels look like Mary fucking Poppins. ‘So you have. Looks like Sadie just got all the sweeter for plucking.’ He knocks the rest of his drink back, placing the empty glass down. ‘It’s not the first time we’ve gone Eskimo. Hell, we were inside the same girl at the same time a couple of months ago. What’s she like?’ He smiles spitefully, because that’s what this is. Spite and maliciousness, but why I’ve no fucking idea. ‘Do tell. I hope she’s worth the legwork I’m putting in.’
At my none answer, Julian looks like a shark scenting blood in the water. So I stand, ready to issue my last statement, because this is fast becoming a pissing match I can’t afford to have.
‘It’s not going to happen with Sadie.’ My words carry an assurance I don’t feel.Fake it until you make it. Fake it until I can get him to fuck right off. But the fact of the matter is, I just don’t know if my warnings to her will be enough. She came to London for a reason, and I think I’m looking at it.
