Chapter Twenty-Two
MAC
‘I want you to take my virginity,’ I mumble, pacing the floor, unable to sit still. ‘But I don’t want to be in a relationship with you. What is that shite?’ I ask the empty room. ‘Who the fuck says these kinds of things?’
A virgin at twenty-three, for God’s sake. Who would’ve guessed? Certainly not me as she’d stood before me in that tiny towel as brazen as anything. And definitely not when she’d let me spank her and cover her in my cum.
She could be yours,my brain whispers.Untouched by another man.
‘Ah, fuck it all to shite!’ I yell. Then I cringe arseholery at the thought and the possibility of Louis waking. No sound comes from his room, thankfully. And no sound comes from Ella’s room, either, because she’s no longer fucking here! But Louis’s night terrors are less and less these days, and that’s because of her influence. And now she’s going to leave for good.
‘Fuck that for a game of soldiers. Not if I have anythin’ to do wi’ it.’ Because... because the thought of not having her in my life makes the blood in my veins freeze.
If you don’t take her, it could be him.The thought of Will working his smooth moves on her makes me feel ill.Ella’s not daft;she’ll see through the bullshit. But will she? He’s pretty accomplished. I can almost hear him now.People don’t understand; I’m just looking for love like everyone else.You’ve got to kiss a lot of toads to find your princess.
No, she wouldn’t fall for it. But the pictures my mind paints still twist my gut. I’m ready to punch someone. More specificallyhim. I can’t believe he’s been texting her behind my back—been the little birdy tweeting in her ear.
The bastarding shite.
‘I’m not the settling down type? That’s what he said about me?’
When she’d recounted her call with Will earlier, I could feel my blood pressure pounding in my ears, my response bordering on a yell.
‘I’m only saying what Will said, not passing judgment. There’s no need to shout.’
‘No, you’re right,’ I’d said, coming back to myself. ‘But here’s the thing. This is a case of the pot calling the kettle grimy arse, y’ken? Will’s a wolf in sheep’s fucking clothing.’ And God help me, she’s just his type.
A lamb. Gorgeous and inviting. Low on self-esteem.
‘So you’re saying you’re both as bad as each other?’ she’d asked calmly. ‘Both full of intentions so nefarious?’
‘Fuck it all to hell! Will you just listen to me?’
‘If you’re going to yell, then no. I think I’ll just go downstairs and wait for the other grimy pot.’
I’d felt like my heart would leap out of my chest and follow her. But what could I say that didn’t sound pathetic after what she’d seen? I couldn’t tell her that seeing Fin today had cleared up so much for me. That the way I’d felt about her all these years had washed away seeing them both in the same room. One woman was my past. A past filled with some many mixed emotions, and most of them misplaced. The other was my future—a future that had only just become clear to me, and there she was, walking away.
‘I won’t be late,’ she’d said, turning at the door, though not looking at me.
‘I don’t doubt it. It won’t be long before Will’s trying his luck.’ Trying to get his hand in her knickers, more like. She’d see past his intentions way before that and come home. To me.Please God.
Standing at the door, she’d done something out of the ordinary then, one brow rising like a question mark. She didn’t look like the ingénue just then. She looked more like an accomplished flirt.
‘Aye, I understand well enough that it takes two to get horizontal,’ I’d said. ‘I’m just warning you. Don’t drink anything from him that tastes funny, and don’t expect any Nora Jones shit from him.’
‘We’re just going out for a drink. I told you,’ she’d said patiently. As though speaking to a doddery old fool. ‘I accepted his invitation earlier when I worried I’d be stuck in my bedroom all evening while you were reminiscing with Fin.’
‘You weren’t sent to your bedroom like a naughty little girl.’ Though right now, I’d like nothing more than to put her over my knee. ‘You must think I’m such a bastard.’
‘No. See, that’s the problem,’ she’d said with a light shrug. ‘I don’t.’
‘I’ll still be awake when you get home. Hopefully, you can tell me how the evening went. You know, without the use of those wee cloth dolls.’ Door handle still in her hand, Ella had furrowed her brow. ‘You know the ones,’ I continue, pitching my voice a wee bit higher. ‘The bad man touched me here... and here.I hope to see you soon without the use of a courtroom video link.’
She was still laughing softly as the door clicked closed. And the elevator couldn’t have been more than two floors down when I’d called him.
‘What the fuck do you think you’re playing at,’ I snapped by way of a greeting.
‘Mackie boy, how are ye’?’ His answer sounded dipped in smug, then rolled in the upper hand.
