‘You say that now, but it won’t last.’ Her gaze falls away, looking at the dance floor again. ‘I can’t give you what you want, and I’m not cut out for an open relationship. I need someone I can trust, not someone who wants—needs to fuck on the side.’ She makes to stand when I catch her arm.
‘Listen to me. I’ve fucked exclusively at the club for some time now—only interested in couples in committed relationships. Do you know why?’
‘Yes, because you’re bisexualandgreedy?’
‘No, because it means no relationship. No ties to anyone. They have each other, and I get what I want. Sex. But now... you see where I’m going with this? I want to be tied to you.’
‘You mean in a kinky way? With ropes and shit?’
‘I want to kiss you.’ My hand slides from where I’d grabbed her, sliding my fingers into hers. ‘I want to walk down the street with you holding your hand. I can take it slow,’ I say with such passion and gravitas; how could she think otherwise? ‘We might have started this at the wrong end, fucking and now we’re fighting, but we can do the conventional from now on. Let me wine and dine you. Get to know you, inside and out.’
‘That still sounds like fucking.’
‘There will always be fucking.’
‘But what happens when I’m not enough?’
For a moment, I’m confused by her meaning until I see the real edges of her concern. Where she’s going with this. I tighten my hand on hers when what I want to do is take her face in my hands. Kiss her—kiss to compliance. Until she melts into me, forgetting everything else.
‘You’re confusing bisexuality with infidelity. They aren’t synonymous.’
‘But you like men.’ Her words are quietly spoken, though no less adamant.
‘And I like women. And more specifically, you.’
In essence, bisexuality can be explained as sliding your hands down someone’s pants and being satisfied with whatever’s down there. That’s attraction. What I want with Bea goes way beyond the physical. I want us to be emotionally attached too.
‘Of course, there are other ways, if you’re interested. Other parameters to exist within—ones I don’t need but mention because I’ve seen your reaction and heard your hints.’ I shrug a little uncomfortably, running my free hand over my stubbled jaw, hoping to distract her from what I’m about to say. ‘And I might’ve also seen your Rumblr feed.’
Bea’s mouth falls open. How is it possible she doesn’t know?
‘You absolute bastard. You went snooping—you helped yourself to my phone while I was in the bathroom?’
‘In the hotel, actually.’ I can’t bring myself to look sorry because I’m not. ‘You’re a really dirty girl. And fuck, if that doesn’t make me hard. I can’t wait to watch your favourite porn. With you, of course.’
‘I could scream.’ She looks pissed off but not entirely serious about the shrieking thing.
‘Save it for the bedroom, honey bee. And if you don’t want people to see, you should lock that shit down.’
‘What, you mean like you have? Kit the vault. Kit the gay. Kit the I-can’t-lie-straight in bed? Why on earth would I want to date you?’ she demands, beginning to count off the reasons using her free hand. ‘You’re bossy; underhanded; you don’t tell anyone the truth—’
‘I told you.’
‘You’ve far too high opinion of yourself, and—’
Fuck appearances and secrets, and fuck not forcing her to make a decision. Fuck all those things as I take her face in my hands.
Her breath hitches, and her tirade stops.
‘And I want to keep you. Can I keep you?’
