‘So, this isn’t all about me?’
Though she doesn’t look up from destroying the throw, her mouth pulls up to one side as she gives a quick shrug. Evasiveness seems to be her forte these days.
‘You can talk to me, you know.’ I reach out and cover her hand with my own. ‘And I’m going to be all right. I think last night I just went a bit mad.’
‘I will,’ she says, looking at me. ‘Soon. But just tell me one thing. Why did you stay with him?’
For a moment I think she means last night and Rory, but the look in her eyes sets me straight. ‘I—I wish I knew myself.’ I sigh and begin to chew the inside of my lip, cautious of any further reply.
‘It wasn’t for the money or lifestyle.’ This isn’t a question and I’m grateful for that, but I still shake my head.
‘Marriage,’ I whisper. ‘I was under the impression we were supposed to be in for the long haul. Love. Fidelity. All that stuff.’
‘You didn’t look at the statistics?’ she asks with a small smile.
‘I was tired of being one of those.’
‘I wish you’d have confided in me,’ Ivy replies, her voice stronger now. ‘I can’t imagine what you’ve been going through, and then yesterday morning—’
I squeeze her hand. ‘Let’s not rehash it, please. I’m still processing, I think, hence...’ I feel my expression twist. ‘Last night’s moment of debauchery.’ The moment of lust-filled madness, the evidence of which is printed in the bruising between my thighs and in the lingering sense of his hands against my skin.
‘You’re entitled to be nuts for a wee while.’
‘Hey! No nuts conversations or any of the good stuff until I’m in the room,’ yells a voice from the kitchen. ‘If it wasn’t for me, you wouldn’t have seen his nuts at all, ‘cos you’d’ve headed to one of the rubbish pubs. Ones full of old men!’
‘Anyway ’ Ivy turns my hand, taking it between her own. ‘I don’t think you’re mental for going home with the hottie. You were just hurt.’ I open my mouth to deny—to tell her I was mainly numb, when she cuts me off. ‘I think last night was, in a way, you evening the score. And I think, even though we both know you’re not a one-night stand sort of woman, if there even is such a thing, what happened last night was probably inevitable. It was going to happen sometime. You were taking back control.’
Nope, I had very little control, more like. Especially when he held me against the hallway mirror, pounding me from behind.
‘And the stakes weren’t high—you weren’t going to be hurt.’
I really don’t know what to say. It’s obvious her and Dr. Natasha, MD, as in mental donut, have been setting my life to rights while I’d spent the night being screwed senseless. And it seems they’re now both now singing from the same hymn sheet, albeit not exactly in harmony.
Revenge seems to be this weekend’s buzz word; first Rory and now Ivy. But I’m not so blinded by anger to think a one-night stand will solve everything. It was just a moment of madness following a moment of clarity, because I now refuse to bear the responsibility for Marcus’ death. The man left me poor in more than one way.Poor of wealth, heart and spirit.He deserves none of my guilt; he betrayed me first.
And often, it seems.
‘You’re not, are you?’ Ivy’s voice brings me back with a snap.
‘Not what?’
‘Hurt?’ her gaze begins scanning my features—my arms and legs.
‘No more than she asked for, I’ll bet,’ says Natasha, returning from the kitchen, balancing a laden tea tray. ‘Here,’ she says, placing it on the coffee table. ‘Weak tea and a plain biscuit for the lame and lazy.’ She hands Ivy a steaming mug and one plain cookie, the pair exchanging an odd kind of look. I don’t ponder this for very long as Natasha hands me a cup of what looks like pale green water.
‘What is it?’ I ask, narrowing my eyes at the contents of the cup.
‘Green tea. It’s good for you,’ she says, nodding encouragingly. ‘Ivy’s cupboards are full of the stuff.’
‘And?’ Because there has to be a punchline.
‘It’s full of antioxidants, which as we all should know, combats the effects of free radicals, are good for your body, and karmically counterbalance the act of hook-up sex.’
‘Good to know,’ I say, hiding a smile behind the fragrantly steaming mug.
‘And after all that protein last night, I thought you might need some sugars to balance it all out,’ she continues, uncovering a small plate.
‘Protein?’ I ask, realising she’s handed me a sandwich. I peel the corner of the bread.Peanut butter and jelly.
