As always, she seemed impenetrable, the walls around her heart afortress. It had taken a vial of poison for her to drop them last time—perhaps that would be the only time he ever saw a glimpse of the softness in her.
So all he could do was watch as she slipped out into the hall, the lock clicking shut behind her. For a while, he just stood there, trying to will it to open again.
It didn’t.
17A Halfway Love
Somewhere here on the rooftop deck, the party was still going. But Sydney didn’t head in its direction, nor did she want to be anywhere in the adjoining suite near Winter. She needed to be far from the others, where she could calm down.
What a strange concept. Never in her career had Sydney ever struggled to keep a cool head during a mission, especially not over a partner. But she could still see Winter’s stricken expression as he poured his heart out, then as she reacted by leaving. She felt sick to her stomach, like someone had kicked her. Like she had kicked someone.
Why did it matter so much to her how he felt? She couldn’t understand it, this feeling of terror and disgust twisting in her stomach. She certainly wasn’t in love with him. Was she? Perhaps it was a confluence of being here, having her life threatened at every turn, having a sniper’s target on her body just hours earlier, having to work with Tems to keep the world order. But she had been in predicaments before. She had been able to manage things.
Winter. Winter was the reason. Winter was the difference. She stopped in a quiet corner of the rooftop beside a cluster of trees and breathed deeply, trying to settle her stomach. She hated that Winter was right. Whywas she getting so worked up about the song? There was no way anyone could trace it to her, not logically, not beyond it being some vague rumor to join the thousands of vague rumors swirling around Winter every day. But she was afraid all the same, terrified that something between them had broken down, that some barrier had been shattered. She felt a soft spot exposed in her heart, ready to be wounded.
And this wasn’t a line of business where she could afford to be wounded by a personal bond.
An incoming call made her look at her phone. It was Niall.
She inhaled deeply, composed herself, and picked up. “Je suis toute seule,” she said.I’m alone.
“Good,” Niall said. “So where’s Tems?”
She blinked. The beat of hesitation gave her away. Niall had figured out their secret.
“Next time I see you,” he grumbled, “you can try explaining to me why you lied to my face.”
“I don’t know where he is, Niall,” she said in a low voice. “Not right now, at least. He’s not staying at our hotel.”
“But you’ve both made contact with him. You’ve seen him in person.”
She bit her lip. “Yes.”
Niall let out a long sigh. “Okay,” he said. “Why?”
She could keep her promise to Tems and not let Niall in on everything. But the argument she’d just had with Winter had left her raw and bleeding. “Tems uncovered our lead on Seah first,” she said. “That’s why I trailed him at the stadium.”
“Tems roped you into a rogue mission?”
“We made the choice ourselves. He was afraid that you’d force him back before he could get to the bottom of the ploy.”
Niall made some sort of swearing sound on the other end, although Sydney couldn’t quite make out what he said. “He never changes, that boy,” the man muttered.
“Are you going to pull us off the mission?” she asked tightly.
Niall hesitated, and for a moment, all Sydney could hear was the whistling of the wind and distant laughter from the party. “The plan was to set you all up properly at the gala tomorrow,” he finally said. “It’s too late to pull Winter back without ruffling feathers and drawing attention.”
A ribbon of hope cut through Sydney’s roiling emotions. “You’ll still be there, then?”
“The CIA has me stationed at the side entrance,” he said. “You’ll still see my car waiting there.”
“And our flight out?” she asked.
“Will still be at the airfield for you and Tems. But I’m warning you, Cossette. No more antics.”
“You don’t want to see Rosen harmed any more than we do,” she replied.
“Something I’m sure you were banking on.” He sighed. “I had a feeling Tems would be a bad influence on you.”
