He knew that, of course. Knew that tulips were her favorite flower and that yellow and blue were her favorite colors, had personally gone to the best flower shop in the city that had closed just for him, had handpicked each tulip so that they looked the freshest.
He had put his heart into the bouquet, even though he knew his mother wouldn’t notice.
“I’m leaving for a retreat tomorrow,” he added as he looked for a pair of scissors. “And then a concert overseas. I’ll be back in a few weeks.”
She fumbled in the side table’s drawers for her wallet, then cast him her first direct look and a brief smile. “That’s great, Winter!” she exclaimed. “You’re going to be amazing.”
No questions about what the retreat was for or where he’d be. No questions about his concert. NoBe safe!orBring a jacket!At least keeping Panacea a secret from her would be easy. He kept a straight face as he cut the stems of the flowers and arranged them in the way he knew she preferred. “You know that billionaire guy from the UK? Eli Morrison?”
“Mm-hmm?”
“I’ll be performing for his daughter for her birthday,” he said.
“Oh?” Mom turned slightly to look at him with a raised eyebrow, herwallet now in hand. She switched back to Mandarin. “Ni gen ta hao le?”You’re dating her?
He laughed. “No. I’m just the entertainment.”
“Ah, xióng baobao.”Ah, baby bear.She dropped her wallet into her purse. “Zong huì you yì tian, ni zhao dào shì hé de nü péng you.”Someday you’ll find the right girl.
There she was, half listening to him as always, assuming that he just dated girls, answering him but not really taking in what he was telling her. Winter bit his tongue as he turned on the kitchen’s faucet and filled up the vase. “No, I’m not trying to date her,” he explained again. “It’s just a really great opportunity, and I think I’ll meet some important people at the parties during the week. It’s a big celebration.”
Back to English. “Sounds like it!”
He sighed as he walked over to the living room and carefully cleared a space on the coffee table for the flower vase. “Nín haí hao ba, Mom?”You’re doing well, Mom?It was his way of asking if she was taking her medication regularly.
“Haí hao,” she said. “I’m taking a trip later today to New York for the week, with some friends.”
Of course she was. He hadn’t even seen Mom wheel out her suitcase. Knowing her, she’d probably made the decision to go just this morning.
“Sounds fun,” he replied, pushing aside a small stack of magazines on the couch to sit down.
She smiled at him again as she took out her phone. “What have you been up to?”
His latest album had just come out a month ago, and he’d done a national tour for it. He’d broken records with it. He’d been on every talk show, day and night, had graced the covers ofRolling StoneandVogueandGQand a dozen other magazines.
Mom hadn’t asked about any of it, hadn’t even sent him a congratulatory message.
Artie used to endure long interrogations from her about where hewas going and for how long. Knowing now what Artie really did for a living, Winter felt even more impressed that his brother had managed to keep his secret from their mother.
Winter wouldn’t have any such trouble.
As a kid, he had sometimes screamed in her face about it.I’m right here! Why can’t you see me?But he was nineteen now and just didn’t have the heart for it anymore. He knew this was her way around him, that she willfully ignored what was happening in his life in an attempt to protect herself.
He knew it was because he looked exactly like his father, her second husband, the man she had fallen wildly in love with and divorced in the span of a year. Whom she hated now with every fiber of her heart. He knew that every time she looked at Winter, she sawhim, that she was reminded not of her son but of a man who used to pick apart everything from her face to her clothes to her words until she became a shell of herself. Winter knew that she’d left him home alone so often because she couldn’t bear to be in the same room as him for long. To watch Winter succeed felt a little to her like watchingthat mansucceed.
Winter leaned his elbows against his knees and said, “Just the usual. I’ve been fine.”
“Fine’s good,” Mom said as she came over to sit across from him. “How’s Claire?”
“Haí hao.”Fine.
“Still as busy as ever?”
“She’s been looking after me well, if that’s what you mean.”
“Good, good.”
Winter stole a glance at her, aching to ask her about Artie. To probe for clues about how his brother had managed to keep everything so under wraps. To see if his mother really hadn’t known, when she’d always been so fixated on Artie’s life.
