I feel that same grief now. I feel that steady heartbeat of his—an ever-present part of me for so long—shudder and turn erratic, beating frantically as if speeding up might keep it from bleeding out.
Then Constantine’s legs finally give way, and he falls. I collapse at the same time. As I fight to hold myself up on hands and knees, I meet his gaze for the last time.
He stares at me like a frightened child. Death, the thing he feared the most, has finally come to claim him. A thin trickle of blood runs downthe side of his mouth, even as his lips still murmur something. I can’t hear what he’s trying to say, but through our link, I know.
My Infinite Destiny.Even in his dying state, his voice echoes through my mind.
Then the voice in my head fades. The beat of his heart fades. The link binding us snaps, and I find myself suddenly without his presence in me as his body goes limp. His eyes turn vacant.
Then Constantine, the young Premier of the Karensa Federation, is staring at nothing at all.
The strength that had magically held me up now ebbs to nothing. I’m aware of the agony coursing through me, the blood that’s still gushing from my back and staining everything red. I give in to it and fall to my side. The stone roof is cold and hard beneath my cheek. The world grays, turns muffled and tilted.
Somewhere in it, Red emerges. Had he won his own battle? He is bloody and wounded, he is limping, but he is moving toward me. I smile at his approach, every part of me yearning for him. He kneels down beside me, his hands running gingerly down my arms, but he’s too afraid to lift me. He knows the damage that has ravaged my back. Off in the distance, I can hear the chants of the people.
Red’s hands touch the sides of my face. I close my eyes for a moment, sighing, savoring the feel of those rough palms gentle against me. Maybe things will be all right now. I feel so tired.
Talin. Talin.He is speaking through our bond to me, maybe because it is all I can hear right now. When I look up at him, there are tears in his eyes, running down his face, dripping from his chin. He bows his head before me and I feel his breath warm and shaking against my face.
You did it.He says it over and over so that I finally understand him.He’s gone. You did it.
I don’t know what I did. I don’t know what will happen after this.And everything in me grieves at the thought that I might never find out, that in spite of everything, I will not be able to leave this place and see my mother again.
I manage to reach up and touch Red’s face with my hands. They are shaking so hard. He presses his own hands firmly against mine, and I’m grateful I can still feel their warmth.
Stay awake, Talin.
I’m trying, I tell him.I’m trying.
There is so much ahead for you.
I try to hold on to his words. There is so much that could be ahead for me, for us, for this world. Even when it is burning down, even when we are lying in blood, dying, too weak to do anything more than concentrate on taking one breath at a time. I blink, blink again. Red is still here. I pull him to me, think that I feel his lips touch mine.
I love you.
Save it, so you can tell me again later.
I love you.
I love you.
Through our link, I can feel the strength and light of his life coursing into mine, his heart beating for mine, keeping me afloat. I hang on to him with everything left in me, even as the corners of the world finally fade. There is the scarlet sky, the sound of shouts from below. There is Red.
Maybe there is nothing else ahead for us. Maybe there is only this.
42
RED
Once, I’d thought this city was beautiful.Now it looks like the end. The sky is bleeding, fires rage against the horizon, and the streets are smeared with blood from rebels and soldiers and Ghosts alike.
I can still feel Talin’s heartbeat through our link, and I take comfort in the fact that we are bonded. Down below, I think I catch a glimpse of Aramin and Jeran fighting side by side—and then of Talin’s mother cutting a line through the pandemonium.
The people need to see—I remember thinking as I come back into my body—they need to know that Constantine is dead.
I leave Talin’s side for an instant and drag Constantine’s lifeless form up, then carry him to the edge of the roof. There, I hold him up.
No one sees me at first. Then, someone shouts and points up at me. Her cry alerts another, who does the same. Another person joins in, and then another, and then the soldiers see. The clashes around the palace turn stilted, halt, restart in fits of chaos. But more and more people see who I am holding.
