“There are others who didn’t?—”
“We will grieve them, Katarina. Every one of them. But right now, your grandmother needs to see you.”
Henry took my arm and walked me to where she sat by the window.
“Babushka.” I wished I could run over and hug her. Instead, Henry had to guide me across the parlor to her.
I didn’t know how my grandmother kept going. She had buried her only son and his wife, then lost her husband and her brother within two years of each other. Now, she waited in a chair by a window to find out if her granddaughter was next.
She stood and took my face in both hands, like Anna had. Her fingers were cold. “You were inside.”
“Yes.”
“You made it out.”
“A man lifted a beam off me and saved me.”
She kissed my forehead. “Sit with me.”
“Forgive me, but Lyra?—”
Her thumbs moved across my cheekbones once. “Of course. You go to her now. We will have time together tomorrow.”
The cane was against the wall, where Blackjack had left it. I got myself to my feet and went to find Lyra.
The study door was open a crack, and through it, I could hear her and Henry, but not what they were saying. I knocked, and Henry shouted for me to come in. She was sitting near the window, her arms wrapped around herself, and her husband was beside her.
I sat, and the pressure came off my knee, and for a second, all I could do was breathe.
She took my good hand, and I held on tight.
“There’s something I need to tell you,” she said.
I nodded once.
“They were after me specifically.”
“You can’t know that for certain. Yes, it makes sense, but it was all of Minerva, Lyra. They wanted to destroy everyone and everything.”
She didn’t argue. “I can’t imagine how terrifying it must have been.”
“I could hear them under the rubble. I could hear people, but I couldn’t get to them—” I hung my head, unsure if I could continue. But I had to. Lyra deserved to know what had happened inside that building. “Blackjack got me out. I didn’t want to go. He made me, and he was right, but I didn’t want to leave them.”
Lyra brushed a tear from her cheek with the back of her hand.
“The dust was so thick I couldn’t see my own hands. I found bodies by stepping on them. I checked pulses on people I’ve known my whole life, and there was nothing. And the building kept making sounds, Lyra. It kept groaning like it was alive, and every time a piece of stone fell, I thought, ‘This is it. This is the one that kills me, and at least I’ll be with them.’”
Lyra sank to her knees in front of me and wrapped her arms around me. Henry was somewhere behindme. I’d forgotten he was in the room until his hand squeezed my shoulder.
“When does it end? My grandfather and my parents. Your father and sisters. And now, this. They won’t stop until they’ve wiped us from the face of the earth, will they?” My words sounded like a cry, but still, I had no tears. “What is wrong with me?”
Lyra squeezed me harder. “Nothing is wrong with you.”
“But I can’t cry for them.”
“Katarina. Look at me.” She waited until my eyes met hers. “You stayed in a collapsing building to find survivors. You checked pulses on the dead with a broken arm. You refused to leave until your body failed you. Don’t you dare sit in front of me and ask what’s wrong with you.”
The three of us were silent for what felt like several minutes. Then Lyra eased herself into her chair. Henry pulled another up and sat beside her.
