The four words cut through my humiliation, and my will to fight dissipated.
We kissed more, touched more, but always through our clothes. I traced his collarbone with my fingertip, and he shuddered but not because he was cold. The fire kept the room warm, but it was our bodies that held the most heat.
I kept my eyes closed, wanting to remember every detail of how being in his arms felt.
Even when he drifted off, I knew I wouldn’t sleep. I never did in anyone’s bed but my own. The few times I’d tried, I’d lain awake for hours, then left before they woke.
His thumb moved along the hem of my sweater. “Sleep, Katarina.”
I closed my eyes, and for the first time in longer than I could account for, I didn’t fight it.
Bishop’s armwas around my waist when I woke.
I wanted to stay. I wasn’t going to. When he opened his eyes, we’d have a conversation I wasn’t ready for, and my grandmother was an early riser.
I eased out from under his arm, pulled the door shut behind me, and took the path to the main camp in thedark. I went in through the rear door and up the stairs to my room.
I lay on the bed until the sun came up, then showered and went down to the kitchen.
My grandmother and Anna were already in there when I arrived. Anna was at the stove. Polina was at the table, with a cup of coffee in front of her and a book open beside it.
“Good morning,” I said.
“Good morning, Katarina.” Anna didn’t turn around.
My grandmother raised her head when I poured my coffee. Was she giving me a look, or was I imagining it?
I sat down across from her and pulled Horatio’s journal out of my jacket pocket. I set it on the table between us.
She looked at it, then at me. “Is that Horatio’s?”
“Yes. I retrieved it from the safe at Minerva.”
“Is there anything useful in it?”
I shook my head. “Probably, but no matter how many times I read it, I still feel like I’m missing something.”
She reached across the table and put her hand over mine on the cover.
We drank our coffee, and neither of us said anything else.
When I arrivedat the boathouse at zero six hundred, half the team was already there. Bishop was among them, facing the door, with his laptop open. He glanced up when I came in and tracked me as I went to a table on the opposite side of the room.
Twenty minutes later, Dagger set a single page beside me. “There’s an update on Eleanor’s trail. It’s short, but you should see it.”
I took it and read the first line three times. Then read it again and set it aside.
Hornet was next. He set a flagged intercept on the table, one page that needed a read. I added it to the stack.
Magnolia dropped an imagery request beside it for a contested location that needed a quick assessment.
Across the room, Bishop said something to Admiral and laughed. I wanted to look over at him, but kept my eyes on the page.
Around zero nine hundred, Bishop leaned close to my ear from behind. “Good morning, Katarina.” He kept walking without another glance.
I stared at my screen and reached for my pen. I didn’t realize I was clicking it until Kingston looked up from across the table, expression flat.
Putain.
