“I wish to return to my room and turn in early to rest,” I state.
They nod, then escort me back to my room, where I remove my heels.
And wait.
Forty-Nine
- CYRUS -
“I’m calling it off,” I whisper with eyes squeezed shut, massaging my brow.
“What do you mean ‘you’re calling it off’?” Devin snaps behind me.
I open my eyes and turn to face him and Lady Bethany. After the women were escorted back to their rooms for the evening, I ordered them to meet me in my room.
“As your advisor, my king, I can’t let you,” Lady Bethany says.
“I amyourking, and you will do as I command!” I roar, loud enough that the chandelier trembles above us.
The beast creeps forward in my mind, slithering through my thoughts as it seeks control.
“Let them all go,” I whisper as I catch a glimpse of my balcony where Johanna jumped. The creature lunges at the command, sending me staggering forward a few steps until I catch myself against a wall. Roaring as its claws rake through my chest, nearly making me cry out.
“Cyrus?” Devin runs to me, bracing my arms.
I lift my head, tension straining my neck until the veins bulge. It doesn’t want me to say more. Wants me to roll over and let it have its way. “Save them…from me!” I cry out as my spine snaps and pops, sending me forward onto my hands and knees.
Lyra’s mention from months back of what makes someone of good character haunts me. If only they knew. All the good deeds I’ve done over the last century aren’t enough to wash my hands clean of the blood. Nor the blood on the rest of the hands here beneath my rule.
I confronted them about it when they first got to my room. Lady Bethany and Devin admitted that the women who were dismissed were drained of their blood. That’s what they’ve been using to drug me. To tamp down the beast. Except it’s not working.
Agnes’ vision all makes perfect sense now. The castle was filled withblood because ofme. Because no matter how hard I fight it, nothing can ever balance the blood I’ve taken.
That’s why I need to be the one to end this. It’s always been a thought—that perhaps this world would be better without me. Ending me would be a service to the rest of the realm. I pull the dagger out from the inside pocket of my coat. Its glittering handle mirroring the colors in the stained-glass windows around me.
The twin to Marcella Briarstone’s dagger.
Made of dragonblade. Made to end someone, somethinglike me. As I bring the tip of the blade to my chest, right above my heart, my hand begins to shake.
“Stop him!” Lady Bethany barks at Devin.
A shift of blood weaves beneath my skin. Serpentine, and creeping to the forefront of my mind.
No!
Clenching my teeth, I drive the blade down into my coat. Clapping my other hand over it and pushing. But my hand is frozen, like someone else has stopped it. No longer obeying me.
“No!”I scream down into my own darkness.
Magic writhes within me.Rages. Fighting and clawing its way until I’ve thrown the dagger away from me. It sends me contorting on the ground.
Devin flips me onto my back. His eyes are wide as he tries to pin me down. “Fight it!” he screams into my face but is muffled by the beast's heavy panting echoing in my head. “Cyrus, you have to fight him!”
But my vision blurs at the edges, and every time I blink it’s harder to open my eyes. Everything is tinted by gray moonlight. Particles of dust settling like snowflakes in the gentle rays.
Arching my back, I writhe against the creature who shreds through my defense. Who slithers closer and closer to control. My vision begins to bleed into dangerous red shades.
This is not good. Not yet. Not?—
