I let the truth spill. “No, my opinion of you hasn’t changed. But mineof myself has been challenged. Because if others find out what we’ve done, it’ll sink my reputation. I’ve worked years and years, down till I bled and broke bones to be here. And I simply cannot waste that on a man, as much as I might be tempted to.” Flicking my gaze down to his boots, then up the length of his body, I finish, “King or not.”
He nods slowly. “I see. I understand and respect that.”
Said so simply, it takes me off guard by how quick he is to accept it. So I add, recklessly, “And I don’t wish to cloud your judgement of me and my skills by pleasing your desires. I want the position of General because I’ve earned it. Not because I’ve sucked your cock, or let you ruin me.”
“Ruin?” he repeats with a pained look. Shaking his head, he says, “Marcella, it was not my intention to do so. For that, if I’ve misled you, truthfully I’msosorry.”
“Then say it was a mistake, and that the both of us should forget it.”
“Do you try to hurt me?” he whispers, searching my eyes. “Is this a test of my character? Of my respect for you? It wasn’t a mistake for me, and saying so would be a lie. But Marcella, if you tell me to stay away, then I shall. No matter my longing for you, it’ll never outweigh my honor for you.”
Relaxing the tension in my jaw, his words wind into me. Twisting and molding into my breath at the sheer gentleness of it. The truth is there in his eyes.
Unsure of what else to say, I only dip my head in respect. “Thank you.”
I leave to report back to my shift.
The memory fades to black, and I’m left staring out the window at the mountains. Skimming my fingers along the scar on my thigh. I slow, lost on the jagged edge of the lightened skin. Pulled into another echo of a memory. Of ripping skin, of screams, and blood?—
A knock sounds at my bedroom door. Surely it can’t be time for dinner yet. We have at least another hour. I slide up off the ground, adjusting my skirts before I go to open it.
Devin.
I narrow my eyes, stiffening my hold on the door. “Yes?”
He glances behind me, then says, “You alone?”
I stare at him long enough that it makes us both uncomfortable. “Why? Did you wish to come in?”
He hisses, “Never in your lifetime.”
I swing the door to close it on him when he kicks a boot out to stop it. “You’re beingrequested.”
A smug smile tugs at one side of my mouth as I open the door and brush past him without waiting. No matter his reservations or hatred for me, it’ll never compete with the respect that Cyrus has for me. And, in an odd way, it makes me feel powerful. That…and anxious. Nervous that Cyrus has such strong convictions for me.
Part of me is hesitant to agree to a meeting with him.
Each step away from my room is another knock against the door in my mind I don’t want to open. The one that had the lock busted open once I kissed Cyrus last night. I’m not sure if it’s one I’m prepared to walk through—or evenwantto walk through. Even though the light spilling in from the other side calls for me to explore it.
Devin swings his stubbled chin down toward the eastern quarter. “The library.”
Without waiting for him, I head in the general direction. Turning down the wrong hallway before Devin corrects me and I begrudgingly follow him. The library door is closed when we arrive, and he opens the door for me and ushers me inside. As I take a few steps in and scan the room, my skin grows cold.
Because Cyrus is nowhere in sight.
No. Waiting for me in the center of the room with a lifted chin is Lady Bethany.
As I turn to leave, Devin closes the door to the library and locks it. I try the handle for good measure as Lady Bethany says, “Come and take a seat.”
I jiggle the handle faster, and Lady Bethany’s heels click closer over the marbled tile. “You have no chance to leave until I’m ready to let you leave, I’m afraid.”
I drop my hand and glare at her over my shoulder. “Why am I here? And what do you want?”
Her cheery smile grows wider, bubbling a current of anger underneath my skin at the way she regards me. “First, take a seat.”
Seeing no way out of it, I edge a path around her to a tufted armchair, keeping a healthy distance between us. Though, it isn’t long until she stands before me. “You have become quite fond of Lyra and Aelia, haven’t you?”
Blinking at such an innocent question, I answer honestly, “Yes, I suppose.”
