“How do you know about them?”
He breathes out a shallow sigh. “When you’re a lonely child in a place meant for adults, you endeavor to keep some things stowed away for yourself. Things you were meant to give up when you left your old life behind.”
My chest aches.Oh Bes…
“The order has taken much from me over the years,” he admits. “I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to escape this place and its constraining walls. Even now, there are days when I wish my mother had never brought me here.”
When I sneak a glance at him, I find his jaw clenched and his eyes staring sightlessly at the stone. The urge to comfort him nearly overwhelms me.Don’t overthink it.I reach out, taking his hand in mine. The callouses and scars I marked before are stillthere, but the rest of his skin is soft. It feels natural, touching him this way.
After a moment of unreadable silence, he squeezes back. He bows his head, forcing some of his hair to come loose from its hold; I have the all-consuming urge to reach out and tuck it back behind his ear.
Instead, I extricate my hand from his and stand back before I do something really reckless. Especially when I still haven’t fully forgiven him for lying to me. Bes must feel the same because he heads back toward the exit.
He turns on his heel to face me before he leaves.
Exhaustion pulling at me, I place my hand on the door—but Bes doesn’t move from the threshold. I don’t want to look at him; I’m tired and I’m dirty, and, honestly, I want to be alone for one damn second to gather my thoughts. Yet, I can’t bring myself to make the effort.
Maybe because a part of you doesn’t want Bes to leave.This is the first time we’ve truly been alone, without Cec, since the Temple of Seti I…
After a moment, he reaches up and brushes his finger beneath my chin. He doesn’t keep it there, though, giving me the choice of whether or not to accept his invitation. Unable to help myself, my eyes slowly flick up to his. They first catch on the top two undone buttons of his Henley. I stare for a moment at his muscled chest, having the terrible urge to pull him back inside.
Once I meet his eyes, that urge nearly becomes unbearable.
His gaze bores into me deeply, as if he’s found my soul and captured it with a simple look. My core gently warms and I lean forward slightly.
“No more secrets, no more lies—at least, not from me. I promise,” he assures me softly, voice deepening.
“After everything that happened, how can I trust you?” I murmur, halfway to trusting him again already, no matter how ill-advised it is.
“Without the blood oath in effect, I have no reason to lie,” he explains simply. “You’re here now, and you’re safe.”
God, how I want to believe that.Though I may be safe from the God Men and the Blackshirts in this place, that doesn’t mean I’m not in danger from the dozens of strangers in that great hall. Or that Ansaldo doesn’t have something worse planned for me.
“The people out there may not know you well enough to trust you yet,” Bes clarifies. “But the order upholds a certain code of honor, and no one would dare cross Ansaldo.”
Too focused on Bes to care what exactly their code of honor entails, I lean in closer to him, matching his gentle tone. “Let me guess: breaking this code is treasonous and punishable by death.”
A side of his full lips flicks up, and, unless I’m imagining it, he leans in too. “Now you’re getting it.”
“I’ve been told I’m rather observant.”
He raises a playful brow. “Who told you that? Must be an idiot.”
“There’s no reason to call Cec names.”
We watch each other for a moment, heat racing up my chest and along my neck.
I glance behind him into the hallway to ensure we’re not being overheard, lowering my voice even further. “How can you expect me to trust these people? Their leader ordered you to lie to me for Christ’s sake. I want to believe they’re better than the God Men, but I also don’t know their motivations.” I take a settling breath. “What if they—what if Ansaldo—force me to join?”
The playful brow drops and his brow furrows as he reaches up to tuck an errant strand of blonde hair behind my ear. His warmfingertips linger against my neck, and my entire body clenches pleasantly, torturously.
“I would never allow that to happen,” he declares.
“But how could you stop them?”
He removes his hand. “I’d find a way. I know you’re perfectly capable of defending yourself without any of my help, but I told you I’d protect you. And I don’t plan on stopping now that we’re here.”
Both the promise and his adamancy at keeping it steal my breath away. I don’t know what I’ve done to garner such loyalty; I also don’t know if I can trust it, no matter how vehemently he himself believes it.
