He runs a hand through his hair. “Remember when I told you we took blood oaths to never tell a soul about what we do and who we are?”
I nod, fighting against rolling my eyes at the absurdity.
“If the wrong people knew about where to find us or who was giving us orders, it would be disastrous. Even admitting that Arturo—whose name now carries a reputation among the fascists—is Cec’s father was too great a risk. Not when they could use it as leverage. Which is why the Order is monumentally strictabout these things. Keeping all this a secret is no easy task, and there are too many ways it can be circumvented. The blood oath doesn’t allow for errors, especially when it comes to its leader.”
“I don’t understand how the order would find out? I wouldn’t have told anyone.” I shake my head. “After all we’ve been through, how can you have such little faith in me?”
Fire ignites his gaze. “The only other person I have more faith in than you, is Cec.”
His admittance warms me as much as it confounds me.Does Bes really not trust anyone else beyond his own cousin and me, practically a stranger?Though I suppose that’s what happens when your acquaintance is forged in the crucible of war.
“However, I couldn’t have told you, even if I wanted to,” he continues.
“Fine, let’s say I believe in this blood oath.”Whatever gets you to tell me the truth.“What does it entail? What are you explicitly not allowed to tell me?”
“Once someone who has taken the oath passes that seal inside the door and leaves this place, it prevents us from letting slip in any form what the name of our organization is, nor give away its location. We also can’t utter the true name of the men and women at that head table alongside Ansaldo, though no one else in the order is afforded the same luxury.”
That’s a shitty deal.
Even knowing Ansaldo uses a nom de plume outside this stronghold, that doesn’t mean the blood oath is real.
“Then explain to me how—”
“Ansaldo will clarify later tonight after you’ve rested,” Bes cuts me off. “I promise. It’s not my place.”
I grit my teeth, working to tamper down my frustration. “It seems like Ansaldo would let you, the prodigal son, do whatever your heart desires.”
“He has no control over the effects of the blood oaths,” he argues. “They’re as old as the world itself. And even if itwereup to Ansaldo to dole out the punishment, if there’s even an inkling that you’re considering betraying the order, it would be considered treason, and punishable by death.”
A bit dramatic.
“Surely Ansaldo wouldn’t condemn his own son to die.”
Bes grimaces. “You don’t know him like I do.”
My eyes fall to the crimson runner along the floor. I’m not sure what to do with all this information yet, except to follow Bes when he starts walking again. Reining in my anger, I watch him closely. Shoulders rigid, footsteps stilted, his body appears tense for the first time since we met. As if he wants to be anywhere but here. He must hate this place.
I recall what he said after we passed over the seal:why do you think I’ve done all I can to stay away?How long did Bes suffer living here before he finally left?
“Did you grow up in these halls?” I ask, hoping he can answer my questions now he’s no longer tied by the blood oath.
He runs a hand through his dark hair. “I did, though by no choice of my own.”
I can relate.“At least you weren’t alone.”
His smile is small and sad. “If not for Cec, I would’ve been. Despite claiming to be a safehouse for gifted orphans, among other things, it’s no place for children. They give you tasks to keep your mind busy, claiming it builds character. Which wouldn’t be so terrible if there was any time for play in between, or if we gained anything from it. Instead, you’re treated like an indentured servant until you take your oath. Some of the children didn’t mind it, but I wasn’t raised that way. It’s why I took it as soon as I turned sixteen and vowed never to come back.”
My God,sixteen? So young…
“Why take the oath at all?” I ask sincerely.
He grimaces. “Once you reach a certain age, they don’t exactly give you a choice. Especially if your family is already part of the order.”
I furrow my brow. Beyond his uncle, how involved is the rest of his family? I now recall him mentioning his dead parents—did they die because of the order, like we almost did multiple times? Those questions are too personal to ask at the moment, though, if ever.
My shoulders sink. “I’m sorry the amulet and my entanglement with it is the reason you’re back in a place you despise.”
He smiles sadly. “My umi always told me not to waste my energy holding onto hate for things. Which is why I left, I suppose. If I wasn’t allowed to hate this place, at least I could get as far away from it as possible. But I’m back here because Ichooseto be. Because it was the only option and the right thing to do so you could be safe.”
