But his presence... She was finding it harder to deny the ease his company afforded. After her behavior yesterday, she wouldn’t have blamed him for being angry. Instead, he’d waited for her. Basically apologized. Promised she could take the lead in their marriage bed.
And he’d looked at her as if she were nothing short of miraculous.
Beautiful.
She’d felt beautiful as he’d looked up at her.
Seenher. Not only the elegant coif and the flattering dress.
Few other people would find her brashness tolerable or align themselves to share scrutiny because of her personality. But Jackson walked straight for the fire instead of shying away from the flames.
Therewasa wedding ceremony on hold. Dozens of well-connected lords and ladies waiting. Yet he didn’t pick up his pace, didn’t so much as glance in the direction of the chapel. She’d claim it was in fact he who needed courage to face the altar, but she knew him too well for that lie to settle.
He was stalling,meandering, for her.
Her heart squeezed because deep down she knew, Jackson Cole would wait forever, if that was what she wished.
They kept on, walking in silence until they’d stepped into a small clearing.
“Here we are,” he said.
Anna looked around.
Her gaze fixed on the mossy stones of a partial wall, and she gasped, shocked to find where they were standing. “The trees—” She spun in a slow circle, seeing small, bare divots in theovergrown grass where they used to grow trees heavy with fruit. She threw him a baffled look. “What happened to the grove?”
“Disease,” he said, his gaze far beyond the clearing. “The spring after—” He shook his head, but Anna knew what he’d meant:The spring after you left. “By the time the blight was discovered, the trees were too wilted and infected to save.”
Much like our relationship.
But, for once, there was no bitterness accompanied by the thought. No sense of truth.
“A fitting end,” she said around a sudden lump in her throat. Her gaze caught on the pile of limestone at the far end of the clearing. “It is a shame the wall there has crumbled.” They used to sit side by side and eat sweets on that bit of stone.
“I’ve been lax in managing this property,” he said, his brows turning downward, as if he’d only now realized. “I left everything for my mother and brother to see to at their discretion. I don’t know why.”
Because, she was sure, he hadn’t wished to think of this place. Of the last time they’d stood on this spot.
“Marry me, Anna.”
“No.”
Something twisted inside her chest.Truth.
That day came back in a rush. Her, grieving her father’s selfish actions. The passing of her aunt. The terrifying revelations of her new guardian’s temperament.
And Jackson—young, handsome, loyal, and loving—proposing, as if he’d save her from it all.
The anger she’d felt as he had fallen to one knee and professed all the silent affection between them; it hadn’t been directed at him.
All this time, she’d been lying to herself. She’d been selfish and stubborn since seeing him again, only focusing on her ownfeelings, on her need to protect her heart from breaking all over again.
But, standing here in what had once been their favorite meeting place, she could lie no longer. The kiss, the shifting of awareness, his proposal, andherturning away. Leaving him with no inkling of why she’d run from a future together. Of the secrets she kept still. Thetruthwas, she’d pushed him away long before he’d turned his back. There hadn’t been a choice.
Not if she was to savehim.
“I have so many memories of this place,” he said.
Her heart squeezed again. She looked straight ahead, willing the burning behind her eyes to cease. “So do I.”
