I roll the condom on and slick an excessive amount of lube on my dick. I line myself up with his stretched hole. My fingers stroke his back softly as I try to transfer some reassurance to him through my touch. Then I tighten my fingers on his hips and press lightly.
“Breathe for me. Bear down on me, Sunshine.”
A tremor runs through his body, and I can visibly see his body relax further. I make it past the tight ring of muscles and pause. I massage his lower back and subtly rock my hips. I slide a little further. His forced breaths echo through the room. Each one measured, intentional.
“You’re doing so good, baby. Keep breathing just like that.”
God, he’s so tight, so warm. His ass keeps clenching on me as it tries to squeeze me out of him, tries to rid itself of the invasion. I manage to get a little deeper, but his muscles are like stone beneath my hand. He’s still breathing, but he won’t relax.
“You’ve gotta relax, baby,” I whisper hoarsely.
“I’m trying,” he grits out. “How much more?”
I glance down and grimace. “More than half.”
He smacks his head against the mattress and lets out a distraught whimper. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
“Should we stop?” I go to slide back out, but he reaches behind himself and finds my hip, stalling me.
“No. Keep going. I’m just getting used to having a fucking baseball bat up my ass. Not exactly an everyday occurrence for me.”
I squeeze more lube down his crease and then slowlyslide back in. I manage to get in a little further than before, but his body isn’t any less taut.
“Shane, we don’t have to do this. Don’t force it. If it’s not your thing, it’s not your thing.”
My erection is waning as concern outweighs pleasure. It’s not something talked about as much, but one of the reasons I tend to prefer not doing anal is because of the pressure that comes with it. I hate sex when my partner isn’t having a good time.
Being as big as I am, not every guy can handle me. And not everyone is good at communicating what they’re feeling. There have been times I’ve realized the guy was just ‘toughing it out’. Absolutely fucking not. I felt like the worst kind of person. That’s no way to have sex. It’s a joint act; both people’s pleasure are equally important. Now at the smallest sign of discomfort, I start to lose it.
“No,” he begs. “We’re going to make it work. Please keep trying. I’ll relax. I promise.”
I spread myself over his back, resting my forehead on his shoulder. There was so much desperation in his words, so much longing. He wants it so bad. But this isn’t something you can force.I promise. God, he’s killing me. It’s not him. Sometimes these things just don’t work.
“Talk to me about what you’re feeling,” I whisper into his skin. “Pain? Do you dislike the fullness?”
“I…” He trails off, and I give him the time to work through it. It’s all brand new, even with someone average-sized, it’s a huge adjustment. “It’s overwhelming. I feel like I’m maxed out. My body’s sayingno-fucking-way, but my mind is likeyesss, so full.”
“Okay. That’s helpful.” I pepper kisses over his shoulder and nuzzle into his neck. He relaxes the slightest amount. “I have an idea. Are you okay with how I am right now?”
He’s silent for a moment. “Yes.”
“All right. How about this: I won’t move. I’ll just jack you. You get the fullness, but don’t have to worry about anything more.”
“Is that going to be okay for you?”
I trail my tongue over his trap and bite down gently. He shivers. “I’m not going to lie. Right now, I’m losing it. But all I need is for you to be enjoying yourself, and I’ll get it back.” I kiss just below his ear. “All I want is for you to feel good, baby.”
A hum vibrates through him, and his body eases. It chases away some of my anxiety. I push off him, quickly get some lube, and then I’m back on top of him, my hand wrapped around his flagging cock. I stroke him, light and loose at first, focusing more on the open-mouthed kisses I’m pressing over every inch of him I can reach, on the words I’m whispering into his skin, ones I’m hoping will sink deep down, permeating into the man beneath me until they become a part of him.
“You amaze me, Shane.”
I skim my lips over his shoulders.
“The way you charge through life, take every challenge head-on and crush it to the bleachers. You’re unstoppable.”
Trail my mouth up his neck.
“I can’t wait to see the places you go. You were born to shine. A light like yours can’t be hidden, can’t be stifled.”
