And maybe my crush was on the verge of turning into something a little bitmore.
So, it fucking stung. Kicked puppy status activated.
To know he wishes it didn’t have to end…bitter-fucking-sweet.
Instead of kicked puppy, I can already feel myself turning into hopeful puppy. There’s a slim chance of it happening,but it’s not an impossibility. Because he wants me. Jed Stone Jr. wants me.
“Can you say something?” he says after the prolonged silence. “It’s freaky enough when you’re silent, and then when it follows what I just said…”
“Sorry, I’m just basking in the wholeMr. Not Usually For Repeatswants repeats with me.”
“I shouldn’t have opened my big mouth.”
“No, youalwaysshould. I happen to like when you open that big mouth of yours. Real wide.”
He lets out a harrumph. “Well, at least we’re past the awkwardness now.”
I let out a groan. “This fucking sucks. We have to spend five more nights like this? I think the universe is set on torturing me with you.”
“Torturingyouwithme? You’ve been a pain in my ass since you stepped into camp. This was supposed to be my year. Nothing was standing in my way. Then this ridiculous hippie bro with a perpetual smile walks into Spring Training and proves himself to be a legitimate threat. One I’d managed to overcome. And now you’re back. Maybe not a threat in the same way. But still a threat. A distraction. And—” He growls. “Fuck. We both risked a lot sneaking around.”
I’d do it again in a heartbeat. Is that the wisest choice? Maybe not. I follow what feels right, though. I try not to overthink things. And Jed Stone Jr.? He feels right.
I settle onto my side and slip my hands beneath mycheek as I stare at him. He’s just a mess of shades of gray, but I can make out his straight nose, his sharp jaw with the neatly trimmed beard, the soft shimmer of his eyes.
“We did. But I don’t think we were really at risk of anyone finding out. I didn’t act any differently around you than I do anyone else. Let’s be real, Araujo and Thompson are more likely to raise questions than we are. And East and Pauls are different. We’re besties for the resties. Can’t hide shit from each other. It’s like best friend clairvoyance, I think.”
He snorts. “What is wrong with me?Besties for the resties? Like, how do Ilikethe absurd shit you spew now? What have you done to me?”
I light up like the goddamned Rockefeller Christmas tree. Just call me Christmas in fucking July. Except in May, since it’s May. “Youliiiiikeme.”
“I really don’t.”
“Gosh, JJ babe. It’s only been a week. A profession of love is a little early, don’t you think?”
Thump.
“Hey!” I push away the pillow that just hit me in the face. “I should add,” I say pointedly. “Pillow fighting is a bad idea if you want me to keep my dick to myself. I definitely won’t be able to resist you if we start wrestling. No exertion or heavy breathing allowed. I’d say you have to tie me down. But—”Fuck. I like the sound of that. I swallow hard. “Yeah, shouldn’t have said that,” I say roughly.
“I hate you.”
And the slight whine in his voice iseverything.
But I need to stop. It’s cruel to both of us. “All right. I have an idea. More icebreakers. But like, really boring, long drawn-out stories from our childhood or something. Something that will cause us to pass the fuck out.”
He eyes me, and even in the low light, I can tell he’s studying me. “Okay. Bore me to tears, Sunshine. Where’d you grow up?”
Perfect. This will be the perfect distraction.
“Tampa. Momma raised me all on her own. We didn’t have much, but we had each other, and she taught me what’s important in life.”
My gaze drops to the bedspread. “She sacrificed everything so I could have baseball. I think somehow she knew. She knew I had something special. I mean, every parent thinks their kid’s got what it takes, right? Talented. Genius. What have you. That wholeblinded by love. But we didn’t have the money for that way of thinking.
“Still, she found a way, because she believed in me. There were a lot of things that drove me, but like I said the night at the bar, everything I do, I do for her. The first thing I did when I got my signing bonus was get her out of our trailer park.”
I look up from where I’d been fidgeting with the comforter and meet Jed’s gaze. Hold it. “No shade. I’m not ashamed of where I come from. Even if I know some might deem me less than because of it.” Then I brace myself and wait.
What will the reaction be? There’s always that moment of shock. Then comes the disgust, the regret…the subtle distancing.There’s nothing wrong with growing up in a trailer park, they say. And I never hear from them again. Or there’s pity. How unfortunate for me to have grown up with a loving mother, but not a big house full of material things. It’s not shameful. It’s not sad to grow up without money. It is fucking hard, though.
