Footsteps thunder down the hall, and I tense.
“Yo, Pebs. Wait up.”
I relax and slow my pace. Nebiolo catches up to my side, panting lightly. His gaze sweeps over me as I wait, his dark brows pinched.
“You okay, man? Back there… Those two are fucking assholes.”
I shrug, but some of the fire in my chest eases at the concern in his tone. “I’m used to it.”
“That makes it worse. It shouldn’t be that way. I’m sorry.”
“The last thing you should be is sorry, Nebs. Thanks for back there…stepping in. Its…ah…not common to have someone on my side.”
I hesitate, trying to find the right word. Friend? Ally? Another queer guy? I’m not sure how he identifies, but it doesn’t matter.
He sends me a lop-sided smile. “I’ve got your back.”
Yeah, that. “I appreciate it.”
He nods and starts walking backward. “You sure you’re good?”
“Yeah, Nebs. Thanks.”
He touches the brim of his cap before turning back down the hall.
There are a lot of assholes in this business.
But there are good people too.
You hold on to that. You have to.
NINE
SHANE
“Nebs,I’m begging you. Please let me stay with you,” I say, fluttering my eyelashes beseechingly from where I’m on the bench in the locker room.
East is sitting next to me, downing a protein bar. Paulie’s standing in front of me, wiping himself down. We just got done with suicides, so we’re all dripping and my lungs are still sore. I love that feeling, the feeling that I pushed my body to its limit. It’s a high I can’t explain, knowing I’ve given something my all, literally to the point my body can’t give anymore.
I may be being overly dramatic because I’m me, but I am not far from getting on my knees to literally beg Paulie. Easton and Maddox deserve to have time alone, and I don’t think I’ll survive another day being around their love.
Let’s just say, I’m not in a very good place right now. Every smile is like pulling teeth. I hate when the weight comes creeping in because I know I can’t stop it. I refuse to let it show. Even if being surrounded by something I’ll never have has it heavier than ever. I walk through theapartment each night, and their laughter, their affectionate glances, their small touches, haunt me. Taunt me.
I’m thrown back in time. To when I was that kid standing at the end of our trailer park complex waiting for my father’s truck to appear.
But it never did.
To when the girl I’d been crushing on hard told me she couldn’t take me home to meet her family. Not when I came from where I did. I was good for a fun time, but not more than that.
Being pushed to do sprints until I almost puked was a welcome distraction today.
“Didn’t you arrange this whole thing?” Nebs arches a brow, his gaze darting between me and Winters.
“You don’t want to know what I walked in on yesterday,” I say pointedly.
Winters’s face turns bright red. “I thought we’d locked the door,” he mumbles.
I throw him an incredulous look. “I have a key. You know, those things that unlock doors. Because I live there!”
