“He’s wrong, baby.” She gently tilts my chin up. “The things he said, his beliefs. I won’t ever understand it, but some people in this world choose hate. Hate is loud and aggressive and in your face. To those people, they see that as powerful, as dominant. They don’t see the strength in softness, the courage in vulnerability. Their impulsiveness, their belligerence?Thatis weakness—a shield for someone who can’t pause, think, and make a rational decision.”
“So many people think that way, the way he does, though,” I say quietly. “And…it’s hard not to think that maybe…maybe it’s better to just date women. To avoid all the shit that happened with my dad, that has happened with my teammates.” My stare falls and so does what’s left of the organ in my chest. “If I can be just like everyone else,” I whisper, “why would I purposely choose the more difficult path?”
“Freedom,” a deep voice comes from my doorway, and my attention snaps up. To him. All dark hair and dark eyes and hard jaw. Stunning and serious, and so close, yet so far.
“I think because we desire the freedom to be ourselves,” he says. “Not have someone or something dictate how we get to live our lives. Our choice.”
He leans against the doorframe. “Some people do try tohide that part of themselves. I think everyone has to make the decision that’s best for them. I would never hold it against someone who chose a path that made them feel safe. The world we live in…it gets more and more divisive every day. Your father’s beliefs…are much more prevalent than even I want to admit, and right now those people feel empowered to be loud. Only you can determine what the right decision is for you.”
His nostrils flare, and he hesitates, something unsaid flashing in those deep-brown eyes.
I nod, hoping he understands I want to hear whatever it is he’s wrestling with.
“There’s another…compelling reason,” he finally says, his voice wavering slightly.
I clutch my blanket in white-knuckled fists. And I wait. Not breathing, heart barely beating, waiting for him to give me a reason that makes it all worth it. The fight. The hate. The injustice.
“Yeah?”
“Love, Shane.” He huffs softly, a humorless smile tilting his lips. “Love. The heart wants who the heart wants. People make decisions every day that make their lives more difficult in the name of love. When you find that person,your one sole person…the difficult pathisthe better path. Because it’s with them.” His gaze searches mine. “I’d go up against the entire world to fight for that.”
Oh. I swallow hard, and a trembling breath flees me.
His gaze darts away, and he clears his throat. “Also, apologies. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but I wanted to give you an update on Frankie.”
I frown. “Frankie?”
Now he’s frowning. “Yeah, Frankie. Last night…he’s still in the hospital?—”
“Fuckingwhat?” I jump out of bed. Pause as the world spins, and I try not to hurl.Breathe, Shane. My bedroom rights itself. “I’m going to need an explanation, JJ.”
He scrubs a hand down his face. “I see you don’t remember.” He lets out a weighted sigh. “Speaking of bigots. Devereux knocked Frankie clean out last night. Hairline fracture in his right cheekbone.”
My mom gasps.
“Oh my god,” I whisper.
“We have to go visit him,” my mom says. “And who is this Devereux person? Can you press charges?”
Jed’s face contorts, and he shakes his head. “Unfortunately, that probably won’t go over well. Considering Devereux accused Frankie of sexually assaulting Olander. We all know who would win in that case.”
I sputter. That’s just…just fucking preposterous. “Frankie wouldneverdo something like that. Like, yes, he’s a total flirt, but he’d never make unwanted advances on someone. He does tend to like the”—I air quote—“straight boys. But they’re neveractuallystraight. I’ve seen him in action. He doesn’t ever make the first move. They go tohim.”
Jed’s eyebrows lift and he nods. “Yuuuup.”
What? Oh. Ohhhh.Oh my.
“You think Olander’s a not-so-straight straight boy?” Holy fucking shit.
Jed shrugs. “It’s either that, or Frankie assaulted him. And we know Frankie doesn’t need to kiss men who don’t want to kiss him. He has no shortage of options.”
“I think we should still report Dev to the skipper. Dominguez needs to know about all the shit Dev’s been saying and now doing.”
“This man is your teammate?” My mom bristles. “What’s his mother’s number? Or his father’s? Both. I’d like a word.”
Jed covers his smile with the back of his hand.
“That doesn’t really work in professional baseball, Mom. This isn’t Little League.”
