He still won’t look at me. He’s clutching his head, those golden curls a dark mess plastered to his head.
“Listen to me, Shane. There is nothing wrong with you. The only person who is wrong is that fucking bastard who abandoned you and your mom. Who was living a double life. He’s an adulterer. A cheat. A nasty human being. And he never deserved to have you in his life. That man only deserves darkness.”
Don’t let him take your light.
But it’s too late. There’s not even a glimmer left in the man sitting next to me.
No smile to hide what he carries inside. Every protective layer has been torn away, rinsed raw by the pelting rain. What remains is the little boy whose father left him, one who grew up believing he was never enough to make someone stay.
The boy who truly believes he’s worthless.
I don’t know what to do. I’m afraid to touch him again. I don’t think there’s anything I can possibly say to fix this. To fix the broken man next to me. He was already cracked before this, the wounds his father inflicted never fully healed. And I know, because Shane is endless optimism despite the trials of his past, that he’d still held out hope. That one day he’d catch his father’s notice, that his father would have a change of heart.
This was the killing blow. That hope…obliterated.
I slide my phone out of my pocket and shoot off a quick text before hiding it from the rain again. He needs comfort; he needs love. It just can’t come from me right now. A hollowness eats away at my chest.
A minute later the balcony door opens, and Shelby’s gaze clashes with mine. She’s got the hood of her sweatshirt blocking her head from the rain as she hurries over to me.
“Can you get him inside? He—” My voice chokes off. “I think it has to be you.”
I know how close he is with Paulie and Easton, but I have a feeling he can’t handle being around a man right now. At least not for the kind of comfort he needs.
She nods. “Of course.”
She slips past me and kneels in front of Shane. He tries to curl into himself more, but Shelby grips his face, forces him to look at her as she says something that gets lost in the roar of the rain.
She touches him.
When I can’t.
Shane shifts, and with Shelby’s help, pushes to stand. She wraps an arm around him, and even being nearly half-a-foot shorter than him, tucks him into her side and helps him inside.
My head falls back against the wall, and I let the rain lash my skin.
I’m sure tomorrow will be better. Once he’s moved past some of his shock and heartbreak. I’m not going to fool myself into thinking we’re going to jump back to how we were, but we can slowly work toward it. I’ll do whatever I can to help him heal from this.
I hope he lets me.
I slide out my phone for a second time.
Me
Do you want me to go home tonight or stay? Whatever you want, I’ll do.
My heart lodges itself in my throat. I’m not sure he’ll even see my text.
My phone immediately lights up. A sliver of hope swirls behind my breastbone at the quick response.
And dies.
Sunshine
Go.
ANNOUNCER
PROVIDENCE CLIPPERS - JUNE 1ST
