“I know.”
“Do you? Because you keep acting like this is some temporary thing that’s going to disappear, like you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop.”
I didn’t have a response to that.
Because he was right.
Part of mewaswaiting for the other shoe, waiting for Skyler to wake up tomorrow and realize he’d made a mistake, that whatever he’d felt was confusion or loneliness or the strange intimacy of text-based friendship that didn’t translate to real life.
“I’ve been here before,” I said. “Not this exact situation, but close enough. I’ve been with guys who say they want something, then change their minds or guys who like the idea of being with a man but can’t handle the reality. I don’t want to get my hopes up only to have them—”
“Crushed?”
“Yeah.”
Benji’s expression softened. “I get it. I do. But Jacks, think about it. He came to find you at the bar, that first time, and then again, and again. He texted you every day for weeks. Then he kissed you, unprompted, after spending weeks building up toit.” He squeezed my arm. “That’s not a guy who’s confused. That’s a guy who’s falling for you and finally grew balls big enough to do something about it.”
“What if his bravery doesn’t last?”
“Then you’ll deal with that if it happens, but you can’t protect yourself from every possible hurt by refusing to let yourself be happy now.” He grinned. “Trust me, I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.”
Finn stepped up with a tray of dirty glasses. “Benji, table six needs another round. Stop philosophizing and let the boy do his job.”
“I was providing emotional support.” Benji pouted.
“Provide it later. Drinks first.”
Benji sighed but bounced off to take care of the table, leaving me alone with Finn.
“He might be the founding member of the Glitterati, but he’s not wrong, you know,” Finn said, loading glasses into the dish rack. “About letting yourself be happy.”
“You’re the one who told me to be careful.”
“I did, and I meant it, but being careful doesn’t mean being closed off.” He paused, choosing his words. “When I met Chase, I was terrified. I’d been burned before, and I had a million reasons to keep my walls up; but at some point, I had to decide: WasI going to let fear run my life, or was I going to take a chance on something that might be real?”
“And it worked out.”
“It did, but it might not have. That’s the risk.” He met my eyes. “The question is whether the potential reward is worth the potential pain. Only you can answer that.”
My phone buzzed in my pocket because Skyler had ESP and probably knew every word that was said to me all day. I pulled it out, my heart rate spiking at seeing his name on the screen.
PuckingSkylerShaw: Is it weird that I already miss you?
I blinked at the message, something warm and terrifying blooming in my chest.
Finn, who’d leaned over my shoulder to read my phone, asked, “PuckingSkylerShaw is his name in your phone?”
I shrugged. “It’s his Insta handle. It suits him.”
“It suits you both.” Finn chuckled. “Go on. Answer him. Give yourself a chance, Jacks. You deserve that much. You both do.”
When the weight of Finn’s chin settled onto my shoulder, I knew I had no choice. Not only did I have to reply, but a certain redheaded barkeep was going to watch me do it.
Me: Is it weird that I was thinking about you?
PuckingSkylerShaw: Probably. We’re both very weird.
PuckingSkylerShaw: How’s work?
