She pulled back, studied my face for a moment, then nodded like she’d confirmed something to herself.
“Take care of yourself, Skyler.”
“You, too, Brooke.”
I watched her walk to her car, watched her Tesla’s lights flash as she unlocked it, and watched her drive away. For God knows how long, I stood alone in the parking lot, hands in my pockets, trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me.
Brooke was amazing.
Any guy would be lucky to be with her.
And I’d felt . . . nothing.
Friendship, sure. Affection, absolutely.
But that spark, that pull, that intangible thing that was supposed to make your heart race and your palms sweat?
Nada.
It had been like that with the last few women I’d dated, too, now that I thought about it. We’d had nice dinners, pleasant conversation, and everything was fine, but there’d been no fire or urgency or desperate need to see them again.
There was supposed to be fire, wasn’t there?
I wanted fire, damn it, a giant, blazing bonfire of desire and hope and everything else that came with it. Why couldn’t I have that? Was it too big of a dream?
I could harbor hopes of hefting the Cup, but fantasizing about a relationship in which longingmet deepening companionship was somehow too much?
Maybe I was burned out.
Too focused on hockey to have room for anything else.
That happened to athletes sometimes.
The season consumed everything, left no space for a personal life.
That had to be it.
I pulled out my phone and stared at the screen. The conversation with Jacks was still there, patient and waiting.
I typed out a quick message without thinking. I needed the comfort of a friend. I needed something that felt grounded and safe and real.
Me: How’s your Friday going? Any fake astronauts tonight?
Then I deleted it.
It was too soon to text Jacks. I sounded too eager, even for a friend.
I was too . . . whatever.
I shoved the phone back in my pocket and headed for my car.
Tomorrow.
I’d message him tomorrow.
Or the day after.
Whenever felt normal and casual and not at all likeI’d been thinking about it constantly.
