“Good night, Jacks.”
“Good night, Sky.”
Silence settled over us, warm and complete. Thewashing machine hummed down the hall, while the city murmured beyond the blackout curtains.
And Skyler’s heartbeat pulsed against my back, steady as a metronome.
His breathing changed first—morphing into the slow, even rhythm of someone slipping under. His arm grew heavier around my waist, and his fingers loosened their grip on mine. A soft exhale stirred my hair, and then he was gone, pulled into sleep with the easy surrender of a man who’d finally stopped fighting.
I’m not sure he even knew all the battles he’d fought.
I lay there for a long time, wrapped in his warmth, listening to him breathe.
I loved him.
It was silly and stupid and far too early to use a word with such weight.
How many times did I have to remind myself of that?
We barely knew each other. Sure, we’d texted like teenagers, but we’d only been on a couple of dates, if you could call what we did before Skyler came out to himself dating. I still didn’t know his favorite color or where he wanted to go on vacation or how he felt about his family—or even the names of his family. I knew so little; and yet, my heart screamed that Ialready knew what was important. I already knewhim.
All I had to do was look into his eyes and I knew it was true.
Maybe that’s what made all this so scary—for us both.
He was terrified because I was his first experience with a guy. I got that.
But my own fears were born out of something far deeper.
I was his first, and I knew what that meant in ways he would only realize in the years to come. I also knew that most guys, like ninety-nine percent, didn’t end up with their first. Hell, I didn’t even know where mine was. If I strained, I might remember his name.
And that sickening, horrifying thought lingered and echoed, over and over.
“This won’t last,” it said.
“He needs to play the field,” it chided.
“He’s barely ready for sex. It’ll be years before he’s mature enough for a relationship. Protect yourself,” another part of me warned.
And yet, my stubborn heart refused to listen to my rational mind. His warmth didn’t wrap around me like his arms; it filled me. It gave me strength and comfort.
It gave me hope.
Nothing about this was easy. It wouldn’t be, wherever this path might lead.
But I couldn’t . . . I wouldn’t . . . let him go. I would fight for whatever this was, whatever it could be. I would fight for Skyler.
Because I loved him.
I knew that with a certainty that held a fear all its own.
With those sacred, unspoken words on my lips, I nuzzled into him, closed my eyes, and let his heartbeat carry me under.
Chapter 26
Skyler
Iwoke to the smell of coconut, and not the artificial kind from sunscreen bottles or those little air fresheners shaped like palm trees. This was something warmer, more natural, and layered underneath were notes of something I couldn’t quite identify—sandalwood, maybe, or cedar. Whatever it was, it was coming from the mass of dark curls pressed against my face.
