“Now you know. Now you know I’m broken. Probably too broken to make this relationship work.”
I close the space between us in a few hasty steps, reaching up to cup his cheeks.
“I get you’re going to try to push me away now. That’s what you do when it all gets too much for you. But I’m not letting you go, Ollie.” I tilt his face and press my lips to his. He doesn’t kiss me back, and while it stings, I know it’s because he’s trying to protect himself. “I’m sorry I pushed you; I just hate seeingyou hurting. You’re so brave, Ollie. You survived and did that all on your own. But you’re not alone anymore, and I want to help you, if you’ll let me.” I drop my voice to a whisper, pressing onto my toes so our foreheads meet. My hands are on his arms, and though they’re tense, he’s already reaching for my sides. “Please, let me help you, my love.”
He blows out a breath, and then he’s using his grip on my ribs to pull me closer.
“Yes. Okay,” he says. We stay locked in an embrace until the restaurant door opens and a group of people walk by, bringing with them laughter and the garlicky scent of pizza. The conversation is over for now, but I know he’s too vulnerable and raw to go back inside.
“Let’s get out of here,” I suggest, releasing him from my hold and turning to head back inside for our coats.
“No. You haven’t eaten yet. And what about your friends?.”
“I’d rather leave with you,” I reply honestly. “Wait here; I’ll get our things.”
Oliver doesn’t say anything as I walk back inside. I tell Darcey I’m not feeling well and that I’ll transfer her some money later to cover my share of the bill. She hugs me and pats me on the shoulder.
“Take care of our boy,” she whispers, and tears press at the back of my eyes. She’s always been perceptive, so I don’t doubt she knows we’re not leaving because I’m ill. But that’s not what has emotion welling up inside of me. It’s that she’s so easily accepted him as her friend. As part of this little family. And that’s something he needs. I also have no doubt she’d hunt the fucker down who hurt him as readily as I would.
“Love you, Dars.” I kiss her cheek and then leave, linking my arm through Oliver’s as we turn onto the street. We don’t talk about where we’re going, but we both know as our feet carryus along streets alive with people celebrating the festive season until we’re standing outside my father’s office building.
Chapter 19
Oliver
Darius stands in front of the window, his back to the glass, his gaze locked on me. Outside, it's dark and thick clouds hang heavy in the sky, making the city look as if it’s shrouded in a hazy glow. I hesitate where I stand. My body and soul exhausted from our last conversation. I have no more secrets from Darius. How he got every last one out of me, I don’t know. Even my parents never questioned my relationship with food; I was that good at hiding it. But as he’s done since the first day, he saw and I let him in.
Because I love him.
“Come here,” he says, motioning me forward with his fingers. I close the space between us and wait in front of him, my one hand sweeping against his. “Close your eyes.” I give Darius one last look before letting my lids shut. Hands ghost over my chest, and I pull a breath when he works my coat open, sliding it down my shoulders. There’s a gentlethwackas it hits the ground and then he’s working the buttons on my shirt open. I shiver when his lipspress to my chest and he kisses up my neck, to the sensitive spot under my ear, all while he continues undressing me. “Keep them closed. Just feel, puppy. No thinking.”
My hands are hanging at my sides, but once Darius has pushed my shirt off, I move one to his hip, needing to feel the solid presence of him as I give myself over completely. All my trust, all my weaknesses and vulnerabilities. No more armour.
The air in The Vista is warm, but his gentle caress of my body sends a wave of goosebumps over my skin. A shiver works its way down my spine when his lips skate over my shoulder blades, his hands never leaving my body. Darius lifts my arm and buries his face in the hair there, kissing and nipping lightly down my side before coming around to kiss over my nipple. His fingers dance over my stomach, the muscles pulling tight with the action.
Soft air on my lips is followed by the steady press of his mouth on mine. I part my lips and Darius pushes inside, his hands and tongue working together to take me apart piece by piece. My heart flip-flops in my chest, my hands finding the back of his shirt and pulling it up so that I can feel the heat of his skin against my palms. Need vibrates through me when he deepens the kiss while working open the button of my jeans.
“D.” I don’t even know what I’m asking for; I just know I need him. All of him. In every way.
“Sshh. I’ve got you,” he whispers against my lips. Then he’s working my jeans down over my hips and down my legs. He breaks the kiss to slide down my body, helping me get my feet out of my jeans. I’m standing in nothing but boxers and socks, my eyes closed and my pulse racing. And all the while, he never stops touching me.
Darius’s fingers on my skin say more than any words could. His movements are full of affection. Care. Devotion.Love. My throat tightens around the fact that I’ve never experiencedanything like this before. That in all my twenty-four years, no one has ever cared about me the way this man does.
There’s no pity when he looks at me. No anger when I try to push him away, and I know without a shadow of a doubt that he means it when he says he wants to help me. Not to fix me. I think he’s astute enough to know relationships, love, affection – none of it can do that. But it does make me feel strong enough to seek the help I should have years ago.
“You still with me, baby?” he asks as his hands trail up my thighs and over the globes of my ass. He ignores the hard outline of my cock in my boxers and instead walks around me again, kissing every naked inch of my back, from my thighs to my shoulder blades to the nape of my neck.
I nod, and the urge to open my eyes is strong, but then he’s in front of me, and he’s kissing me again, and I sink deeper into this feeling of contentment. With my hands on his body again, I focus only on the feel of him, leaving the rest of the world behind.
“I love you,” Darius whispers. I think I knew it already, but the confirmation tears a sob from my chest that I silence by pressing my lips together. “I love you, Oliver,” he repeats, this time marking his words by relaxing my lips with his own. Opening my eyes to stare into his bright blues, I see nothing but the love he claims to have for me. “I’d choose you in this lifetime and the next.”
And just like that, I went from being the boy whose parents failed to put him first, to a man who sought solace in all the wrong places, to a man loved.
Chosen.
Words stick in my throat. I want to tell Darius I feel the same, that I love him and have for a long time, but there’s that tendril of fear again. Fear that even if this isn’t the dream it feels like, it could all come crashing down. But there’s also somethingstronger than fear stirring inside me, and that’s the recognition that loving him for even a day would be better than never having loved him at all.
“D, I…” He plays with the waistband of my boxers, his gaze not leaving mine. Surging forward, I capture his lips with mine, lift him until his legs are wrapped around my waist and he’s pressed against the glass. I kiss him with everything I have, pouring more emotion than I knew possible into every swipe of my tongue. “I love you.” I barely break the kiss to utter those three words that are the most honest words I’ve ever uttered. “I love you so fucking much.”
