“That was incredible,” I remark, and the concern on Oliver’s face dissipates, replaced with what I can only describe as heartfelt affection. There’s a fuzzy warmth flowing through my body that makes me want to curl up and rest my eyes while basking in the afterglow.
“Want to know what I would do if I was there?” Oliver asks, his head tipped back on the sofa.
“Yes.” I shuffle onto the bed and lie on my side, with my head on my pillow and my phone in front of me.
“I’d finally kiss you. Because I’ve wanted to do that for a very long time.”
“Hmm, that sounds nice. I miss you, Ollie.”
There’s a banging on Oliver’s side and he looks up over his phone, his cheeks flaming red. It’s only then I remember he was in a communal part of the house when all this started.
“I’ll call you a little later.” There’s another voice in the room now and Oliver lifts a hand to whoever entered.
“Okay,” I answer, pulling the comforter off the bottom of the bed to drape over my partly naked body.
“And D?” He drops his voice. “I miss you too.”
Chapter 15
Oliver
The pub is like many others in the city. Wooden picnic tables on the pavement outside, pubgoers hunched over them, vapes in hand, hoods up against the cold November air. There’s a sign hanging over the door, a lamb dancing with a chicken drawn in gold and green, the pub’s name in bold letters beneath it. The windows are fogged up, and each one holds a different flyer, advertising the pub’s weekly events. Live sports on the television. Karaoke nights and pub quizzes. The latter being the reason I’m standing outside right now, though I can’t bring myself to open the door.
Darius is inside, surrounded by a group of his friends. I haven’t seen him since I returned from France and while there hasn’t been another call like the one before Halloween, we’ve spoken every day. That call changed things between us, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head, or my dreams. The way he’d writhed on the bed, sweat coating his skin, those tiny fucking shorts, my name on his lips – it was all so beautiful andperfect and everything I could have wished for. The way he’d looked at me after, his blue eyes shining, every emotion he was feeling written on his face, hiding nothing from me – that meant more than the earth-shattering orgasm.
Once I walk into that pub and get the chance to hold him again, I know I will never be able to let him go and that scares me, because the other shoealwaysdrops and I don’t think I’d survive losing him.
Before I can give in to my urge to flee, the pub door opens and a dark-haired man steps out. I’d know him anywhere. I even thought I may have loved him once. But now, as I look at Caiden, his eyes cast down at his phone, I feel only a kinship for the life we shared before and for the two sad boys who sought comfort in each other in the only way they understood how.
Caiden looks up, his eyes catching mine. There’s no smile there, just a hard stare that tells me he’s not pleased to see me, yet he’s not surprised either. Which means Darius has told him about us – or at the very least, that we’re friends.
Even if now we’re so much more.
“Oliver.” He takes a step closer. “Darius said you were coming.”
“Where is he?” I ask, looking over his shoulder.
“He’s inside. With Jamie.”
A knot forms in my stomach, my anxiety ratcheting up, and I do the thing I’ve always done when I feel like this – I put my walls up and become the version of me that is impenetrable.
“Ah, your knight in shining armour. How sweet.” I tip my head at Caiden. “You look good, pretty boy.” The old term of endearment slips from my tongue and I hate it as much as I’m sure Caiden does. “Fucking your stepbrother really makes you glow.”
Caiden flinches, but he doesn’t back away. He only shakes his head, exasperation clear in his voice. “Once an asshole, always an asshole, I see.”
I open my hands, palms up. “You never had complaints before.”
“Look.” He steps closer, gesturing over his shoulder. “I don’t get what Darius sees in you, but it’s not up to me who he likes. Whether there is something more than friendship between you two is none of my business. Just try not to hurt him, okay?”
My hackles raise and I drop my voice. “I would never hurt him.” I need Caiden to believe me. I may be an asshole and sure, I push people away, but I would never harm someone.
He nods. “I hope that’s true. But you forget that I know you, Oliver.”
No, he fucking doesn’t, but that’s not what frustrates me about his words.
“I never hurt you, Caiden.” My comment seems to catch him by surprise. His lips part before closing again, and he tugs on the cord of his black hoodie. “We weren’t good for each other, but I never – ”
His shoulders sag as he interrupts me. “I know. I’m sorry if I implied that. You’re right, we weren’t good for each other, but that’s on both of us.” I don’t tell him how badly it hurt when he let me go, because there’s no use opening old wounds and, if every day is a journey with bumps that change the trajectory of our lives, then Caiden cutting me out of his was a huge one in my path, one that led me straight to Darius.
