“Who are you, and what have you done with the honorable captain Caleb?” I ask. Sneaking off into the night is definitelynotin character for the man who can probably recite the Vela Bianca conduct manual in his sleep.
“Don’t worry—Jim’s handling the ship. I just… I wanted to apologize. For being such a?—“
“Total dick?” I finish for him. He doesn’t protest. “Is this a shark bait situation where you want someone slower than you to be the one to go first? Because in case you don’t remember from last time, Iwilluse you as a human shield. And I can be pretttyyyy clingy.”
“No sharks this time. Captain’s honor.”
I pause. On one hand, absconding into the open ocean in the middle of the night with my sworn enemy seems inadvisable—especially one whose made one too many references to throwing me overboard. On the other hand, the idea of going back to my room to watch the single episode ofFriendsI have downloaded on my phone sounds like a pretty boring way to pass the time.
“Can I change?” I ask, looking down at my pajama shorts.
Caleb shakes his head.
“Not unless you want to wake up Arthur and Patricia. But if you’re not up for this?—“
I reach over and grab the paddle before he can finish the sentence. Caleb can loathe me to his heart’s content, but I won’t have him thinking I’m a chicken.
“Fine. But I’m going in front.”
Two minutes later, we’re paddling out into the darkness with nothing but the stars to light the way. Correction:he’spaddling. Despite my protestations, he wouldn’t let me keep the paddle.
“Don’t suppose you’re going to tell me where we’re going?” I ask as soon as we’re far enough from the Vela Bianca not to be heard.
“Nope.” Caleb says firmly. Even though I can’t see him, I can practically hear the smirk in his voice. “You’re just going to have to be patient.”
“Not my strong suit,” I grumble back.
“Yeah. So I’ve noticed.”
I look back at him, ready to fire off a sassy remark, when I see he’s almostsmiling. It seems… suspicious.
“Doyouat least know where we’re going?”
“Sounds like a question you should have asked before we left the ship.”
My heart begins to beat a little faster. No one knows we’re out here. He could be taking me to kill me and none of the Warrens would ever know. Maybe Patricia bribed him to cut away the dead weight on her happy little family before she lands. Is he going to strangle me and dump my body in the sea?
Relax, Stella, I tell myself. Captain Caleb is too much of a goodie two-shoes to pull off something like that. If anything, he’d push me off the stern when no one was looking.
Comforting.
“A friend of mine works on Mamanuca Island,” he tells me, finally. “She showed me this place the first time I came, and now every time I’m in Fiji, I try to come back.”
Friend.Probably one of the many women on Caleb’s roster.A girl in every port.
“It must be incredible, exploring a new world every month,” I change the subject. “Always starting a new adventure.”
“It is,” he says. “But it’s hard being so far away from family. Even if mine’s a bit of a mess. Sometimes it gets… lonely.”
You have no idea what loneliness is,a voice rings in my head, and I scrunch my brow in surprise (more money in the pocket for Patricia’s Botox supplier). I’ve never really considered myself to be lonely. All my adult life, I’ve worn my independence like a badge—no help, no handouts. There isn’t a thing I can’t accomplish by myself. But hearing Caleb say it, I can’t help but think of all the ways I’m alone. All the invites I turned down to baseball games and trivia night to focus on my dissertation. All the Saturdays spent solo on my couch watchingHow I Met Your Motherreruns with a bowl of noodles from Pho-Q. Even when Iwas with Patrick, we were both so tired by the weekend we often didn’t even see each other.
I’ve been alone so long I almost forgot there was another way to be.
“At least you have your crew,” I tell him, shrugging off the uncomfortable feeling. “The only people I see on a daily basis are surly nineteen-year-olds.”
Saw,I remind myself.
“In an art studio?” Caleb asks genuinely, and I laugh.
