Oh no.I stop in my tracks, whirling around to try and stop what’s next. Because I know where this is going. Up until now, I’d completely forgotten what she said on day one about asking the crew if they knew my mystery urchin man.
The many brownies I consumed at lunch rise in my chest, and I’m torn between the desire to sprint downstairs and hide in my closet and the urge to physically gag Jules before she can utter another word.
“Some of them,” Caleb answers nonchalantly. “Why? What’s up?”
Jules is about to run me over with a high-speed train is what’s up. I quickly choose the ‘hide’ option and attempt to skitter towards the stairs before she calls, “Stella, wait! What was the name of the guy you met in Denarau?”
I bite my lip to keep from screaming in embarrassment.
“Oh,” I grit out, “I don’t remember?—”
“Did you meet a fella on the island, Stella?” Jim asks, raising both eyebrows. “You certainly don’t waste any time!”
“She met him on the beach, but she didn’t get his number,” Jules cuts in for me, and I’mpositivethat my face, at this point, is lobster red. No—make thatfire engine.
Jules smiles conspiratorially.
“He spent half an hour pulling urchin spines out of her foot!”
I dart a quick glance at Caleb, who’s expression is, as usual, completely unreadable. But hemustbe panicking too. If it wasn’t obvious who she was talking about before, it certainly is now.
“He was just being nice,” I try to cover, my pitchy QVC voice coming in full-force. “It wasn’t romantic or anything.”
“Oh, please!” she barks. “You said he was,and I quote, ‘sweet, hilarious, and the sexiest man you’d ever seen!’”
Hearing the words come out of her mouth is like viewing a car crash in slow motion: only this time, I’m in the passenger seat. Caleb coughs, loudly, and I feel all semblance of dignity leaving my body faster than Matthew downing tequila shots.
“You alright, Cap?” Jim asks him, but it’smewho’s about to asphyxiate. Caleb puts his hand to his mouth.
“Just a—um—inhaled some dust.”
As if there isanydust to inhale on this pristine vessel. I wince. Any more of this torturous humiliation and Jules will have to use her carefully-curated wedding florals for my funeral.
“I was exaggerating,” I try to cover, looking anywhereexceptat Caleb’s face. “He was moderately attractive at best.”
“Stella, you don’t have to downplay it,” my horribly misguided sister assures me. “Maybe they know the guy!”
I’m avoiding meeting Caleb’s gaze at all costs, but to my horror, he asks, “What did you say this mystery man’s name was, Stella?”
My eyes shoot up, and am shocked to see a sliver of a smile creeping up around the left side of his mouth. He’s not panicking at all—that traitor is actuallyenjoyingthis. I make a mental note to impale him with the antique harpoon gun in the movie room as soon as I figure out how to use it.
“Uh…” panic floods my already addled brain. I search frantically for a reasonable answer, but for some reason, the only thing that comes through is the coffee-stained copy of Great Expectations sitting on my nightstand.
“Herbert,” I announce loudly.
Herbert?!Seriously, Stella?
“Huh,” Jim cocks his head. “Can’t say I know him.”
“Probably on one of the commercial rigs,” Caleb covers, andit looks like that absolute jerk is actually trying not tolaugh. “We don’t run into them much.”
Of course he’s enjoying watching me be subjected to the extreme humiliation of my mortal enemy discovering I was once intohim. Caleb already thinks I’m beach trash—but beach trash that thinks he’s thesexiest man alive?I could not be more mortified if I were standing here in my granny panties.
“Well, it was worth a shot!” Jules says nonchalantly as she meets me on the stairs. “If you’ll excuse us, I don’t want to be late and give Harry a heart attack.”
That’s my cue. I pull up the hem of my dress and leap down the stairs as quickly as I can without risking a faceplant. But before I’m out of earshot, I hear Caleb’s villainous voice.
“You’ve probably dodged a bullet there, Stella,” he says, just loud enough for me to hear. “Hasn’t anyone told you we yachties are all bad news?”
