6
Ican hear the anchor chains starting to roll back to the boat, their heavy links pounding against carbon as we prepare to cast off. The last time I saw Caleb, he was cradling my left foot while I screamed, mostly naked, on a deserted beach. What happened in the last twenty-four hours to make him act like I don’t exist? Did I hit my head on the dock and make the whole thing up? And why did he tell me he was a First Mate?
Caleb and Harry exchange a few more words that I’m too stunned to catch before Harry continues the tour. I don’t dare look back to see if Caleb’s watching me on the way out—just shuffle behind Harry awkwardly as he leads me up a set of spiral stairs. But even the gorgeous upper deck with 360 views and a jacuzzi that glistens under the morning sun can’t turn off the gears whirring in my head.Cue garbage disposal brain,I can almost hear Marianne teasing me. I knew I had bad taste in men, but I can’tbelieveI had goo-goo eyes for a guy who’s pretending I don’t exist. I’m so distracted I don’t even have the capacity to gawk at the elevator Harry guides me into.
“Stella?” he taps me on the arm as we descend into thedepths of the ship, and I realize he’s been talking to me for several seconds. “Did you hear what I said?”
“Huh?”
“About the emergency briefing video in your cabin?”
“Yes, sorry,” I respond robotically, trying to shake myself out of my own whirling thoughts. “I’ll make sure to watch it.”
“Don’t worry. Must be the jet lag! I hope you’ll consider joining us on the jet for the return flight—I know you’re concerned about the environmental impact, but I assure you, Jules has us arm deep in carbon offsets!”
I don’t even have the energy to balk at the ridiculousness of what he just offered,I just nod listlessly as the doors ding open and Harry shows me to my cabin. If you could call it a cabin. The stateroom is bigger than my entire studio, only instead of looking out at an apartment wall, the portholes peer out onto the turquoise sea.
“I’ll let you get settled!” Harry tells me. “There’s a minifridge right here outside your room with snacks and drinks in case you get hungry.”
“Thanks Harry,” I tell him. “I’ll be up in a second.”
As soon as he closes the door, I fall backwards onto the bed and take a deep breath. What the hell have I gotten myself into? I click on my phone camera and shoot a quick photo of the cabin to Mer before I look around for my ancient Patagonia duffel. But it isn’t here. When I open the closet, I see that the clearly sub-par sundresses and sweater I brought are already neatly hung. In fact, everything I have is unpacked: the drawers of my dresser are stacked neatly with my clothes, right down to my carefully folded underwear. Even Pepe the hippo, who I’ve dragged everywhere with me since I was five, is set out neatly on my pillow with a white lei around his neck.
I cringe, remembering the way I crammed everything into my bag haphazardly before I left. I’m sure the crew is already gossiping about me—I’m probably the most un-yachtie guestever to set foot on the Vela Bianca. At the very least, Caleb’s thinking it. I saw the way he looked at my frizzy hair, my mosquito bites, my sad, wrinkled sundress. It was the same look Matthew gave me when I went in for that dreadful hug. Disdain. Embarrassment. The look that says, you don’t belong here, and it won’t be long before you go crawling back to whatever backwoods hovel you came out of.
Is that why Caleb pretended not to know me? He’s probably embarrassed to be associated with someone so obviously unequipped for yacht life. Or maybe he flirts with so many women on beaches he honestly doesn’t remember. I pull my phone out from my back pocket and compose a text to Mer.
Remember hot runner from yesterday?
She responds within seconds.
Mr. Baywatch? How could I forget?
Well… he’s here. He’s my captain.
NO WAY!
Then:
It’s destiny! BTW, I’ve always wanted to get railed on a boat.
Mer sends me a string of eggplant emojis.
Keep dreaming. He’s acting like he doesn’t remember me.
Wait… what?? Are you sure?
I’m serious! Re-introduced himself and everything. TOTAL dick.
Ew, gross. How much you wanna bet he has a tiny peen?
I laugh out loud before she sends me a second response.
What did he say when you called him out?
I feel my shoulders lurch. Marianne knows me well enough to know that I did no such thing. I can’t even correct a wrong order at a restaurant without turning into a blubbering puddle of awkwardness, let alone call out Caleb for something so humiliating. And in the last five months, my confidence has only gottenmoreelusive.
You didn’t, did you?! When you get back we are having a serious conversation about speaking your truth. Your throat chakra must be a mess right now!
