I hone in on that last part, both intrigued and confused. “You aren’t still interested in doing the show ... ?”
Sienna and Raquel exchange a look. Lyle clears his throat, speaking up for the first time. “Ms. Diaz and Ms. Ezra have decided that reality television is not where they would like their future creative endeavors to lie.”
“It seemed like a good idea on paper,” Sienna laments. “Filming something near home, being close to our families. Not having to leave for months at a time to shoot a project.”
“Being behind the cameras for a change,” Raquel adds.
“But after Perry got his oily paws on the production, the show was going downhill fast. He insisted on the next challenge being the women wrestling each other in the mud. In bikinis. Even though it was supposed to be the men competing for the women. So it made no sense, in addition to being completely sexist.” Sienna stops, taking in a breath. It’s clear this rant has been building for some time. “We were thinking of tanking it ourselves after that so it wouldn’t be picked up past the pilot.”
Raquel nods along with everything Sienna’s saying. “Even before that, the show had its problems. It felt like most of the contestants just signed up to try to become famous. The only genuine connection that seemed to be forming was ... well, you two.”
“Us?” I look at Nina in surprise. “But Nina wasn’t in any of the scenes, except for that time she was an extra in the background.”
Lyle rolls his eyes theatrically. “Let me tell you a little something about how a reality show works,Nate R.” He says the fake name with more scorn than is necessary, in my opinion. But Ididruin the show that was his livelihood, so gooff king, I guess. “The cameras are almost constantly rolling. Even when we aren’t officially filming. You never know when you might catch a candid moment, a secret conversation.” He levels me with a look. “Or two people falling in love when they aren’t supposed to be.”
Despite the weirdness of the situation, I can’t help but smile as I look over at Nina. To know that some of those sweet moments of connection were captured on film, potentially memorialized forever ... there are worse things I can imagine. “I guess I wasn’t very good at pretending to not be in love with you,” I tell her quietly.
“Atrocious,” Lyle confirms. “Easily the worst acting I’ve ever seen in my life, and I got my start onKiller Sexy Robots 4: The Thunderdome.”
Okay, that’s coming in a little hot, but again, I lost the man his livelihood, so I’ll let it slide. I look back to Raquel and Sienna. “I guess it’s nice you have that footage, but what does it matter if there’s no show?”
“There’s noMountain Man,” Raquel corrects me. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t have a show.”
She looks at Nina, as if waiting for her to fill in the blanks, and I realize yet again that I’m still a few steps behind. I look at my lady love questioningly. “What’s going on?”
Nina takes in a deep breath, giving another one of her little nods to herself before plunging in. “I’ve messaged with Lyle about the possibility of turning the footage they already have of theMountain Manshow, plus some additional material, into a documentary. About us.”
I stare at her, flabbergasted. “But ... why? Who would watch that?”
No shade intended. I obviously love Nina, and I know I’m great, but I just don’t see the appeal of watching two strangers falling in love with each other.
Immediately, though, I can tell this response was a mistake, since I seem to have simultaneously irritated Sienna, Raquel, and Lyle—three of the scariest people I’ve ever met. And again, I did time undercover in a prison.
“You obviously did not do the reality television homework that you were assigned to make sure you didn’t ruin our show,” Raquel tells me.
“And look how well that turned out,” Sienna deadpans.
Lyle takes in a deep breath, clasping his hands together, like he’s prepping himself to talk to a very dumb child. “So, reality television is one of the most watched forms of entertainment. Even when basically every other network television show is struggling to maintain an audience, reality TV still draws in millions of viewers each week. And within that category of reality TV, dating shows consistently draw in some of the highest ratings. You know why that is?”
I’m scared to even attempt an answer. “No?”
“Because people fucking love to watch other people fall in love,” Lyle tells me. “Aside from being born and dying, it’s one of the few shared human experiences across age and gender and cultural divides. We all love love.”
“But we don’t like to watch peoplepretendingto fall in love,” Sienna clarifies. “Which is why the rest of the show would, unfortunately, be such a bust if we tried to salvage any of it—even without the tacky mud wrestling. But the two of you ...”
I look back to Nina, who is watching my expression carefully. “So you air a documentary about us and all’s good. No suing us for breach of contract or anything?”
Raquel taps her chin. “Now there’s an idea ...”
Sienna elbows her, but she’s laughing, which is hopefully a good sign.
My mind continues to whir over the possibilities. The plan was always for Nate R. to make an appearance on a high-profile show; that was a concession the FBI was willing to make. But for this documentary to work, I would need to appear on there as myself—Wes Ackerman, not Nate R. Even if the show somehow manages to fudge out all the parts where I’m an undercover FBI agent, the exposure would be much too high profile for me to go back to my job at the bureau afterward. My career with the FBI would be officially over.
I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing, honestly. For all of my hopes and dreams about serving a bigger cause and helping people, since meeting Nina, this job has increasingly felt like the wrong fit for me. I do want to help people, but I don’t want to spend all of my time facing the ugliest parts of the world. I want to do something that serves humankind, but also makes people happy. I want to make Nina happy. I don’t want to put my life on the line anymore. I don’t want to lose any more of myself by going undercover.
I just have no idea what else I can do.
As if reading my mind, Nina speaks up. “I’ve thought about the terms that Lyle sent over in the contract. I have some amendments I’d like made.”
