Thad groans in response to me pressing back against him, and it’s a jolting reminder yet again that his actions aren’t prompted by pity. He wants this, needs this, as much as I do. “Your body,” he mutters into my ear. “Your fucking body. It’s a sin it’s been hidden away for so long. Your body deserves to be worshiped.”
I feel like Thad and I have changed places. A moment ago he was dead silent and I couldn’t stop talking. Now he’s saying the sweetest, naughtiest things to me and my mind is a total blank. Everything is being channeled toward that pressing want building up inside of me.
Thad’s right hand releases my breast, and I make a little whining noise in protest, but he just laughs into the crook of my neck. “You like that, huh? I bet it feels good. But I know other ways to make you feel good, too.”
He trails his knuckles down my side, spreading out his hand again to grip me at my hip. Those clever fingers wrangle their way inside the fishnet again, finding the ties for my bikini bottom. My breath catches, and he notices. “Too soon?”
“N-no,” I stammer, waiting for him to continue.
But he holds back, a little laughter now in his quiet murmur against my skin: “You want me to touch your pussy?”
Even the naming of it sends a spike of hot want through me. I can tell he’s waiting for an answer. “Yes,” I manage finally in a whisper.
“Good. Because I can’t wait to touch your pussy. I can’t wait to feel how wet you are for me.”
Lord, give me strength. My head is spinning. I grip the handrail even tighter.
“But first”—Thad guides me back from the railing—“I want to see you.”
He turns me around to face him, and my breath catches in my throat as our gazes collide. Everything up until now has been intoxicating, incredible, but facing him now, the intensity is instantly heightened. Keeping my gaze, he tugs at the string holding up one side of the bikini bottoms, then at the other. After a moment the strings give, and I feel the fabric slide down my legs and onto the deck. His gaze finally lowers, and I watch his face as he takes in my body, the way his jaw clenches and he gives a long, slow swallow.
“Holy Jesus,” he mutters.
But as his eyes meet mine again, I can see that he’s at last run out of things to say. I turn my face up instinctively as he leans in to kiss me, his hands burning through the flimsy fishnet to my skin beneath, his body pressing me up against the railing.
The kiss is consuming, and in any other circumstance, I would have been totally lost in it. But just a moment ago, he promised to touch my pussy, and the now-aching need down there is drowning out every other sensation in my body. I whimper, shamelessly rubbing up against him, and he finally breaks away from the kiss, looking a little dazed and disoriented for a moment before laughing under his breath, pressing his forehead to mine. “You need me?” he asks simply.
The first brush of his fingers over my folds is an electric shock to my system. I buck and moan, and when he touches me again, I cry out, overcome with it, this want, this need. “Thad!”
I’m not even sure what I’m asking him for, but he seems to intuitively understand. He slides one finger up into me, and that feels so good I could cry out again; and then he slides up a second, and that feels so good Ido, my eyes flying open to find him watching my face intently as he slowly pumps his fingers in and out, in and out.
Some new pressure starts to build up inside of me, somehow even more powerful than what was already happening. It feels so good I’m starting to lose focus, but I know I need something else.
As if answering my unspoken request, his thumb snakes up, finding that little powerful detonator that’s been throbbing, throbbing this whole time, and sets it off.
I come apart so suddenly that it knocks the wind out of me. My whole body stiffens, tightens, and then releases.
Holy…holyshit.
Chapter 38
Helen
It takes me a minute or two to come back down. When I do, I find Thad bracing me up against the railing, still watching me intently. Feeling a little loopy, I smile at him, in that sort of middle-hazy place like when you’ve just woken up from a nap.
It takes another minute to re-process that I’m all but naked, out here on this ship’s deck, with this man who’s played a formative role in my sexual awakening, but who’s made it clear he couldn’t see anything serious with me. I may be naive, but even I understand that sex does not always equate to commitment orfeelings. I move to cover myself.
Thad stops me—not forcefully, his grip more like a suggestion. I could easily break free if I wanted to, but that intense gaze, still fastened on me, stops me. “You’re so beautiful,” he tells me solemnly.
I know that’s probably just something you say to your partner, postsex. Kind-of sex? I was penetrated this time! But I’m sure Matilda will give me some other definition for what we just did. Still, we wereoutside, in a semipublic space, so maybe that will begrudgingly win me some respect from my more experienced friend.
Keeping her pragmatic, no-nonsense tone in my mind, I steel myself against anything sweet Thad might say now, in the moment. I know it doesn’t mean anything, not really. “Thank you,” I murmur, not quite meeting his gaze. Wanting to take the attention off me, I motion to his erection, still visibly bulging against his trousers. “Do you want me to…? I can do something, if you show me how.”
My cheeks are already blazing red before the offer even fully escapes my lips, and I’m not sure if it’s because of the nature of the offer itself, or the admission that I won’t really know what I’m doing, even if I am a willing participant. Anextremelywilling participant, eager and ready to learn.
“Later,” he says, sounding distracted. Surprised, I search his face to find his eyes roaming over my body. I flush more deeply as my greedy body reacts, my nipples hardening, my legs falling open just a little.
I close them again, resolved. “Thad,” I protest, placing a staying hand on his chest. “That was—nice, but…I don’t know if it’s a good idea to?—”
