Voluminous hair, extra big from just being dried. Fresh, rosy face, whether from the cheek-pinching trick or my own embarrassment at what I’m about to attempt, it’s unclear. Thad’s T-shirt, a little big on me, but still close-fitting enough that it’s fairly obvious I’m not wearing a bra underneath. My breasts, which I have kept hidden for most of my life, seem eager to make their debut, my nipples hard and poking through the thin fabric of the shirt. The hemline covers most of my underwear, but a tiny little flash of purple cotton peeks through.
I look…sexy.
Ifeelsexy.
And it’s absolutely terrifying.
Chapter 30
Helen
Thad has the TV on when I come out of the bathroom, and he’s found the classic movie channel again. It’s playing a film I don’t recognize, though from the dark coloring and intense expressions on the characters’ faces, I’m guessing it’s another noir.
He glances over at me, then immediately does a double take, eyes wide as he does a slow swallow that sends a little thrill of anticipation through me.
This is exactly the response I was hoping for, but I realize all at once that I have no idea where to go from here, and it makes me nervous. And when I’m nervous, I apologize. “Sorry! I didn’t want to sleep in my jeans, so…is this okay?”
Thad looks me over one more time before forcing his eyes back to the TV screen. And yes, I know I’m a bit biased, but I don’t thinkforcingis putting it too strongly. I can feel his energy still honed in on me, even though he isn’t looking at me, even though he’s trying his best to keep his eyes glued to the television. “Fine,” he says, doing another heavy swallow.
I’m thrilled at his reaction. Short of him rushing across the room to throw me onto the bed, this feels like a best-case scenario. I know I don’t have much experience with this—okay,anyexperience with this—but it feels like this response is good. He’s attracted to me. He might not be overwhelmed with burning lust, but he’s definitely aware of me in a nonplatonic way.
I think? I hope? Self-doubt quickly starts to set in, even as I do my best to stay confident and committed to my plan. It might only be that I’ve made him uncomfortable by dressing this way. I don’t actually know what it feels like to have a man want to sleep with me. It’s entirely possible that all of this is only in my own head, and he’s wondering why the weirdo nun is walking around in her underwear while he’s trying to watch a movie in peace.
I almost convince myself to retreat back into the bathroom and put on my pants again, but I stop myself. I know what I saw on his face, in his eyes. He’s holding back, but maybe it’s just because I haven’t made clear what I want.
How one goes about doing that, I’m not entirely sure. In my romance novel, Rosamund knows from the beginning that Axel is driven to distraction by his desire for her. It’s never a question ofif, onlywhen.
Worrying my lip, I glance at the TV screen that Thad hasn’t removed his eyes from since I came out of the bathroom. A strikingly beautiful woman is pouting at the detective, eyes gleaming with mischief. She is wicked, confident, irresistible. Thinking back on what I saw from Vera in old episodes ofBama Bounty, she had a similar quality to her. This must be the kind of woman Thad wants.
I can be confident, I resolve with myself.I can!
Clearing my throat, I move over to the dresser, trying my best to walk sexily, not entirely certain what that looks like but determined to capture it. My body feels unnaturally aware of itself as I try to sway my hips and draw attention to my backside. Bottoms are sexy, right?
With my back to Thad, I pick up my phone, clearing my throat again. “Oh no.” I look back at him over my shoulder with a little pout, trying to mimic the expression of the woman on the screen. “My phone’s almost dead. Can I borrow your charger?”
Thad steels himself before looking at me. His eyes hone in on my face, seeming to hesitate before traveling down my body again. “Sure. My phone’s been plugged in a while, so you can unplug it.”
This might be the least sexy conversation two people have ever had together. Nonetheless, I press on, determined to get him hot and bothered. “Where is it?”
He motions to an outlet next to the sofa he’s sitting in, opposite from where I’m standing, so it’s blocked from my view. “I can toss it to you?—”
“No, it’s fine.” A sudden idea strikes me and I saunter across the room again, hips swaying violently. There’s plenty of space for me to just walk around the chair to access the charger, but instead I stop right in front of him and lean across him to reach for it. Our bodies are close enough that I can feel the heat coming off him, and I’m hyper-aware of my purple-underwear bottom sticking out. I’m pretty sure this would get him super excited, if he were a baboon. “There we go. Let me just stick it right in there…”
“Helen.” Thad’s voice sounds like I’ve never heard it before, sort of tight and curt, almost angry. “What are you doing?”
I straighten back up, trying to blink innocently, though I’m sure I’m red as a fire engine by now. “What do you mean?”
Again, his eyes stay honed in on my face, making some seriously intense eye contact. “You’re all…wiggly, and talking in a weird voice. If I didn’t know better…”
Wiggly? Weird? I am clearly not very good at this whole seduction thing, especially since he seems appalled to even put a name to what I’m trying to do. For some reason, unexpectedly, this brings out a surge of defiance in me. I fold my arms. “If you didn’t know better, what?” Let him say it out loud, coward. I’m calling him on his bluff.
Thad seems to be struggling, and I realize why as his eyes finally dart away from my face, down to my chest. Frowning, I look down and see that the action of folding my arms has pulled the material even tighter over my breasts, not leaving much to the imagination.
When he looks into my eyes again, I feel a flutter of excitement run through me. Down there. In my panty region. It sends another surge of defiance through me. “If you didn’t know better, what?” I demand again.
Thad is glaring at me—and okay, sure,angerwasn’t at the top of my list of things I wanted him to feel, but for some reason that look makes me feel even more hot and bothered. “You’re playing with fire, Helen. If you want something from me, you can’t trick me into doing it.Youhave to be the one to say it.”
He’s right, darn him. If I’m going to be brave, I have to actually be brave, not just dangle myself in front of him and hope he’ll take the bait. “Okay.”
