“I know, I’ll apologize. I just?—”
There’s a crash, a scream, something smashes—and a woman falls into my lap. Her silk shirt is stained with red wine, her beige skirt is, too, and she’s sitting on my knee, eyes wide with mortification. Auburn hair is stuck to her face, and she peels it off, gaping with me with doe-like, brown eyes.
“Oh … my God,” she whispers. “I’m so sorry.” She goes to stand and loses her footing. I try to catch her but tumble out of the chair—and now I’m lying on top of her.
The entire thing is like a fucking fever dream.
“Are you all right?” I ask, getting up. Ella is covering her mouth, clearly hiding a laugh and failing. I help the woman to her feet, and she’s beetroot red.
“Madame, I cannot apologize enough—” A waiter rushes over with a towel. “That cart shouldn’t have been left there. Do you need medical attention?”
The woman in question looks down at her ruined outfit. “No, it’s fine … a new glass of wine would be nice, though. Maybe I can drink enough to forget that I just gave a lap dance to a total stranger …” She looks up at me, pausing for a moment. “I’m really sorry.”
I smile. “It’s fine. Accidents happen. Not often ones like that, though.”
She laughs, snorts, then slaps her hand over her mouth, her flush deepening. Ella fully cackles, and I’m grinning too.
“Come on, I’ll help you get cleaned up,” Ella says, and they both head towards the bathroom.
Well, that was eventful. I’m spotted with red wine, butit could be far worse. The waiter delivers another drink, apologizing again, and I tell him not to worry.
When Ella returns, she gives me an enthusiastic thumbs-up before sitting down.
“Kate, forty-three, divorced, was just on the worst date of her life. Go,” she whispers.
I blink. “Go? Go for what?”
Kate reappears, her clothes now dry, but still stained. “Thank you so much, Esme. You’re too sweet.”
“No worries,” Ella says, then looks pointedly at me and back at Kate.
Kate picks up her wine. “Enjoy the rest of your?—”
“Antiques!” Ella shouts, and we both stare at her. In fact, I’m fairly sure most of the restaurant is staring at her. “This town is known for antiques. Didn’t you say you were looking for some, Dad?”
I frown. “No, why would I?—”
“I like antiques,” Kate interjects.
It dawns on me what Ella is doing, and I don’t want her to. After the disaster with Lina, dating is the last thing on my mind, but now both women are looking at me and I can’t think of a way out.
“Would you like to …” I glance at Ella, and she gives me such aggressive eye contact that I frown. “… go antique shopping with me?”
Ella slaps the table. “What a fantastic idea, Dad! I’ll take the car; Kate can drop you off later!” She hops up, kisses my cheek, and whispers, “Don’t fuck this up.”
I guess I’m going on a date.
An hour later,Kate and I have covered the basics. She’s a divorced mom of two, and is trying to date again. She’s a lawyer, hates it, but it pays the bills, and she plans on retiring soon, anyway.
She’s beautiful, clumsy as all hell, and she’s nice. Normal. Not a murderer.
“Anyway, the date I was just on was set up by my sister. It was godawful. The guy kept referring to himself in third person.” She cringes and licks her ice cream. “What about you? Do you date much?”
“Not at all,” I admit. “I recently got a dog, so that’s my excuse.”
She smiles. “What kind?”
“A German Shepherd. He’s called Fox and takes up all my time. Do you have any pets?”
