“Magic,” she tugs on the front of my T-shirt, but when my expression remains stoic, her smile falters. “Shit, did I overstep? I’m sorry.”
“No, you didn’t. Well, yeah, you did by using my phone, but … I appreciate it. It’s a nice gesture. I think.” I force a smile, hoping she doesn’t notice how brittle it is. I’ve avoided my friends for a reason, but Monty doesn’t know that, so I can’t and won’t hold it against her. “Thank you, Monty.”
She points to her face, and I roll my eyes and kiss her cheek. Her skin is soft, and there’s that familiar smell of cherries again.
She sighs softly, the sound close to a breathy moan, and it sends a zip of excitement through me. “You’re welcome, Chief.” The words dance across my ear, sending goose bumps down my back. My skin heats, and my heart thuds a little faster than it should for a killer. We remain close, closer than we should, and it takes everything in me not to let my mouth wander to her neck. “Anything you need, or want … I’m here.” She pulls back, her eyes locking with mine, and my instincts tickle beneath my skin.
The clear green of her eyes, the plumpness of her lips, her soft, erotic sounds—none of it can distract me from the ghosts whispering in my ear.
This is an act.
Like everything Monty does, she has a reason for it, and it isn’t that she wants me. I won’t fall into the same trap so many other people likely have.
And she knows I’ve figured that out. I see the moment it happens, because her eyes sparkle and her grin spreads. She knows I’m onto her, but she isn’t afraid.
She’s excited.
I gently take her chin in my hand and angle her head up. “You’re up to something.”
She runs her hands down my chest. “I’m not, but even if I was, does that mean I can’t want you at the same time?” Her gaze flicks back to mine. “But I like that you’re trying to figure me out, because that means your attention is solelyon me. Thinking about me … dreaming about me …” She bites her lip. “I think about you, too.”
“Stop eye-fucking when we’re in the room,” Alicia barks with a mouthful of mini pretzels.
Monty whirls. “Okay everyone, I’ll be upstairs wrapping top-secret Christmas presents. Do not disturb. Or else.” She waves her finger between everyone and grabs a bottle of wine and a glass before heading upstairs.
“Trouble with a capital T, that one,” Alicia says, and I grunt in agreement.
We’re a few rounds in when Monty reappears for snacks. She wraps her arms around my shoulders, whispers that she hopes I’ve got good cards, flirts with Winston a little, then disappears again. Christmas music filters down the stairs, and finally, someone asks.
“Okay, spill. Where’d you meet the blonde?” Christopher demands. “Because if it’s on an app, I’m on the wrong fucking ones.”
Alicia focuses on her cards. “You only meet women like that in two places. Prison, or government.”
“What does that mean?” Winston crunches on some chips.
“It means …” She places her cards down and points at the stairs. “That woman is a liar if I’ve ever met one. She’s sugar-coated bullshit. Be careful with her, Chief.”
“Trust me, I’ve got my eye on her. And to answer your question, Chris, she was Ella’s friend.” The table falls quiet, and I glance between everyone. “It isn’t against the law to talk about her.”
They nod but remain quiet as we play another hand.
“Is Ella the reason you’re on leave?” Chris asks, and Winston must kick him under the table because he winces. “Ow! I’m just asking!”
“No, Ella isn’t the reason I’m on leave.” Placing my cards down, I wonder whether I should just bite the bullet. They’ll find out sooner or later, because despite me chickening out the day Monty arrived, I plan on making the announcement before New Year, anyway. “I took leave so I could give some thought to a decision.”
Winston watches me. “What decision?”
I sip my beer. “Retiring.”
The word feels strange on my tongue. I haven’t said it out loud, and now it’s out there and it feels so … real. But also the right thing to do.
Alicia says, “Guy, you can’t. You’re the best chief we’ve had.”
“And I’m tired,” I admit. “I’m tired of this city, this house, these memories. I want to … shed my skin. Be someone else.”
Winston looks at me with all the concern of an old friend, and I wish he wouldn’t. This makes sense to me. I have plenty of money to do it, and it means I can sell up and move closer to Ella. I miss my girl, her kids, and being this far away is tearing me apart. I promised I’d try, and for three years I have, but I’m done.
I want my family again.
