“Listen to me, Veda. The matching comes from your heart. You are the one who decides. You carry the light and the divine. Do you feel these Alphas belong to you?”
“Yes.” There’s no hesitation.
“So they are yours, filha.”
Stupid tears form in the back of my eyes, and hope overwhelms me all at once. My daughter, my mother, and now I’m allowed to stay with the men I love? It feels so damn good.So right.
All this time, I knew something was wrong about this whole thing. No way was my body going to react to other packs the way it reacts to them. The cowboys are mine. They have been mine since the moment I stepped on this ranch. No one makes me feel as safe as Jesse, as flirtyas Derrick, and as absolutely out of control as Major. They are under my skin and etched in my heart.
It’s so obvious, how could I let anyone believe otherwise?
“Expecting your body to match with a pack when you’re postpartum is insane,” she continues, unaware of the hope growing like a strong tree in my heart. “So no, of course you haven’t had a heat yet. You have been through a lot. Your hormones are completely out of sync. But your soul recognizes theirs, your scent knows theirs, and they yours. Your body will follow, as soon as you’re strong again.”
Your soul recognized theirs.
I hold the words to my chest and let them soothe me until my breathing is even again. Everything starts piecing together, all the doubts disappear at once, and by the time sleep comes for me, I have a silly smile on my lips.
forty-four
Derrick
At six in the morning, I wake up with a baby wailing. She’s so small, but her lungs are mighty, and it’s possibly the most beautiful sound in the world.
She’s finally here.
I make it to Veda's room and pluck the baby out of her nest. “Rest, you both need it.”
She smiles at me, but soon her eyes fan closed, and she’s back dreaming again. She wouldn’t rest from the moment Major left to rescue Mirasol. It was only four in the morning, but she refused to go back to bed. She barely ate anything, so now that her daughter is finally here, I know she needs her rest. Manuela too.
Mirasol watches me with curiosity as we make our way to the kitchen. I thought babies were supposed to be all sleepy, but this girl has a sharpness in her eyes that many grown men don’t. To be sure she feels safe with me, I go around the house showing her everything.
The living room, the TV, though I don’t think she’s allowed that yet. We go to the porch and feel the early morning sun on our skin. She seems to like it, at least I take it as positive when she stretches her little arms and legs and kicks the soft blanket I have over her.
Not long after that, she starts fussing, so I take her back to the kitchen and make her a bottle. I was sure to watch Manuela do it and asked a bunch of questions whenever I had a chance. I do something right, because Mirasol drinks the whole thing quickly and burps like an old man over my shoulder.
“How’s she?”
My eyes were so glued to the little girl in my arms that I missed Jesse coming in. He takes her from me. I don’t like it very much, but I guess this is a pack and we have to share. As he coos and kisses her cheek, I go and start coffee, right when Major strolls in. His eyes light up when he sees the baby, and soon we are all fighting over who gets to hold her.
If someone told me six months ago that I’d end up with a baby in my arms, the daughter of the woman I love, I’d say they are crazy.
Never in my craziest dreams did I think I’d come to this right here, this rightness in my chest when I hold Mirasol or when I kiss Veda. It’s like the world is finally in the right place.
“I have an idea for today,” Jesse says, kissing Mirasol’s head.
“What kind of an idea?” I know him well enough to be wary.
He smirks before telling us his plan. And it’s not bad at all. In fact, it might be the perfect way to welcome Mirasol and Manuela.
We have to move quickly while the women sleep, but between the three of us, it is easy. I hop into the truck and go down to Willow Ridge, grabbing all the supplies we need plus a few extra things for Mirasol. There’s a lot that a baby needs, and even when I’ve filled the bed of my truck with stuff, I know it’s still not enough.
When I’m back, Veda and Manuela are already up and out of the house, going for a stroll around the ranch. I park the truck right at the door, and I can see Veda with the baby on her chest, pointing at things on the horizon, while she talks about the ranch. She’s proud, I can tell, even from this far, and it makes my heart leap in my chest.
The distraction of a ranch tour is perfect while we manage to get everything in place. Nervousness bubbles when I look at the result. It’s not perfect, and I don’t like to give her anything but perfection, yet I know Jesse is right. She’ll feel loved and important. It’s a small thing to show us how much we love her.
And fuck, we love her so much.
The three of us are standing behind the kitchen table as we hear their voices approaching. Major puffs his chest, Jesse fixes the bunting above our heads, and I grip the chair in front of me, trying not to look as nervous as I feel.
