My eyelids grow heavy as I watch the screen, but I blink hard, forcing myself to—
A loud explosion on the screen sounds, and I jerk awake, blinking a few times before my brain catches up with reality. Ifell asleep on Beckett’s shoulder. He blinks at me, like he, too, just came back to consciousness.
“Sorry,” he mumbles. “Didn’t mean to fall asleep on you.”
“Never thought I’d sleep with a player,” I joke.
“I’m doing all sorts of things these days I never thought I would,” he says softly.
“Oh, yeah?” I ask. I know it’s a dangerous question, but I can’t help myself. The pull between us tonight is so strong. I can’t seem to fight it.
“Can I kiss you?”
My heart stops, the room becoming too small. Kiss Beckett Kane? It’s my high school dreams turned grown-up desires merging into one terrible, horrible, amazing possibility. And I desperately want to say yes. To lean into him. To press my lips gently against his. To slip my tongue into his mouth and dance with it as I swing my leg over him until I’m seated firmly on his lap. To let go and take exactly what I want, while knowing it’s what he wants, too.
A small sound escapes me, and I’m mortified that it can only be described as a gasp.
Beckett’s face morphs into one of alarm. “Oh, God. I’m sorry, Finley. I… Please forget I asked,” he pleads, quickly shifting to climb out of bed. He holds his hands in front of him defensively. “I know we can’t be anything more than we are now. Shit, I know that once this PR stunt is over, we can’t even be what we are now, but there is this pull between us. It’s… I’ve never felt anything like it. I’m hyper-aware of where you are and what you’re doing.” He runs his fingers through his hair. “I know we can’t do this. Even if you’re barely even my coach right now. I just…”
I stand, too, our gazes meeting in an awkward staring contest over the bed. “It’s the same for me,” I confess, needing him to know he isn’t alone. “I catch myself watching you too much during practice. Focusing on you during games instead of thewhole team. Noticing you in the damn hallway. I can’t seem to stop.”
My heart tightens painfully. “But we still… shouldn’t do this,” I say, knowing it’s true, no matter how much I want to cling to Beckett’s warmth. To feel his lips against mine. To fall into his embrace and let go for once in my life.
“I know, Finley. And I would never do something that could jeopardize everything you’ve worked for. I just… I wish I could.” He rubs the back of his neck. “I… Can we just chalk this up to me waking up next to a beautiful woman and leave it at that?”
I nod, my mind too busy basking in the knowledge that Beckett thinks I’m beautiful to form any kind of real response.
Chapter 29
Finley
“Shit,”IgroanasI frantically move my takeout burrito bowl to my other hand so I’m able to dig through my bag. “No, no, no.”
I drop to the floor, setting everything down so I can dig through my bag. Fuck. How could I have forgotten my keys at the arena today of all days?
“Finley?” Beckett’s in his open doorway, a concerned look on his face. “Are you okay?”
“Yup,” I say, dropping my attention back to my bag. “Totally fine.”
“Oh, really? Is that why you keep mumbling curse words?”
I continue to rummage through my bag, my anxiety mounting with every second. “Yup. Very normal thing I do.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Huh. Weird that I haven’t noticed that quirk before. Maybe it’s a new habit, though,” he offers. “I haven’t seen much of you in the last two weeks.”
Because I have been actively avoiding him. Like “hide in a storage closet when I hear him walking down the halls” kindof avoiding him. Staying in my office until two or three in the morning.
I’ve never been so caught up on my work, even if today marks the first official day of April and the final sprint of our season.
I stand, pulling my backpack over my shoulders. I stare at the numbers on Kane’s door rather than meet his eyes. Because I’m weak. “I’ve been really busy lately. You know how it is.”
He nods slowly. “Sure. I know how it is.”
The way he says it makes it very clear he knows I’ve been avoiding him, and he knowswhyI’ve been avoiding him. Because he asked to kiss me. And I wanted to say yes. And somehow, I said no.
And I’m terrified I won’t have the willpower to say no again. Not that I think he’d ask again. But I might. And Ican’t.
“Well, I’m headed back to the office,” I announce, turning to walk down the hall. “I’ll see you tomorrow at the final event for The Great Yeti Challenge. Go us!” I throw a fist in the air,Breakfast Club-style, and am immediately thankful my back is turned, so he can’t see the mortification on my face. What in the world was that?
