Suddenly, the former Mrs. Hartwells couldn’t hurt her now she knew the truth of her husband’s desire for her. She had Oliver in her bed, and those other women couldn’t take him away.
“Sharing?” His hands gripped her waist, and he pulled her to him with a roughness that thrilled her. “There’s no sharing. You’re mine. I’m yours.”
She laughed. “I meant with Violet and Emily.”
His face went still. And grim. “I should tell you about Violet and Emily.”
“You don’t have to.” She ran a hand down his long flank. “Not if you don’t want to.”
“You deserve to know. What have you heard about my wives?”
He was so serious. Even for him. She felt a little frightened. “Nothing. Just what you’ve told me.”
A few months ago, when he had shared a secret hurt from his past—losing his chance to roam the world and be an explorer—he had not looked at her. But now he gazed directly into her eyes, and even before he spoke, she saw his suffering.
“I met Violet at your parents’ town house, at one of their dinner parties. I thought I was in love with her. But it was a foolish infatuation, nothing more. I didn’t understand her. I didn’t know her. I thought she was delightfully mercurial when she was actually dangerously volatile. And when I went to her father to ask for her hand, I didn’t know she had no real interest in me or my courtship. She had only been using me as a pawn in a flirtation with another man.”
“Oh, no.”
“Her father forced her to accept my suit because of my land and money. Maybe because of my connection to your family. Only after we were married did I discover she loathed me.”
“I’m sure she didn’t, Oliver.”
“Yes, she did.” He looked away from Henrietta, but only for a second. “She told me so.”
“Well, she was deranged, then.”
Oliver put his hand against her face gently and ran his thumb over her lower lip. “Yes, she was. I know you didn’t mean it in the literal sense, sweetheart, but she was. She was disturbed, deeply. And very unhappy. We lived separate lives in this house, for years. We had not— She didn’t like me and she didn’t like coupling with me. We barely spoke and when we did, it was mostly . . . well, she was cruel.”
Anger sparked in Henrietta’s heart. No one should have ever been cruel to Oliver. But she bit her tongue. She must let him talk. At long last, her husband was letting her in. She had asked to know his thoughts, and now he was telling her.
“One night, she came into my room while I was sleeping. I woke up with a knife to my throat.”
Henrietta fumbled for Oliver’s hands and gripped them tightly.
“I got away from her and the knife, but I didn’t get the knife away from her. She used it to cut her own throat in front of me.”
She could stay silent no longer. “She meant to hurt you. Oh, Oliver.”
“I was not a good husband to her. It was my fault. I ignored her. I ignored her unhappiness.”
What an agonizing burden her husband had carried. She was desperate to tell him how wrong he was, what a good husband he was toher, but she mustn’t interrupt him, even though he was all wrong in his thinking.
“And then, years later, I wed Emily. Even now, I don’t know how I had the strength to do so. She lived in the village and when her brother died and there was no other family, I married her to keep her out of the workhouse. I shouldn’t have. I should have found another way. She reminded me so much of myself, very serious and quiet, and I was so full of self-hatred at that time. And I don’t think she cared for me. She only felt a sense of obligation.
“And with her . . . Violet had not allowed me in her bed in years. I knew Emily’s health was poor. I should have guessed she should not carry a child. But I went into her bed despite that. Because she let me. And I killed her.”
Henrietta couldn’t keep quiet. “You did not. Listen to me, Oliver Hartwell. You did not kill her. Women die in childbirth all the time.”
He winced. “Don’t say that.”
“It’s true.”
“But I have been . . . I have been counting on the fact you’re so strong that you . . . you won’t die. I could not bear it. Nathaniel could not bear it. You mustn’t die.”
“We will do all we can to prevent it, won’t we? But it’s a risk I’m taking, gladly. I want a baby. I’m sure Emily wanted a baby.”
“She did.”
