“Then you understand men derive pleasure from the act of conception,” he said carefully.
Her spine straightened, and she turned her head to meet his eyes.
“Yes.” A blush spread across her face, and she swallowed. “Did you know women may also derive pleasure from it?”
In principle, yes. But not his wives. Not with him. Not the kind of pleasure he?—
Oh.
He’d always assumed Henrietta was a virgin, but perhaps he’d been mistaken. Perhaps her childhood sweetheart had taken her maidenhead before the incident that had forced Oliver and Henrietta together. If so, why hadn’t the young man demanded he be the one to wed her? No, the cad had abandoned her, thinking the worst of her, when it had all been perfectly blameless. On her end.
Oliver would like to bash the boy’s face for not sparing her from . . . well, him.
He shifted in his chair. “May I have some time to consider your request?”
“Of course.” She smiled politely, but he wasn’t deceived. He knew her smiles. She was disappointed.
“I would like to grant your every wish, but?—”
“This is sudden,” she said quickly. “I have surprised you. And I know I can be rash at times, but this is not a whim. I want to be a mother. I have always wanted to be a mother. I want a baby.”
She should want a baby. He believed most women did. And he couldn’t imagine any better mother than the one Henrietta would make.
Would make? Come now, he chided himself. There could be no better mother than the one Henrietta alreadywas. Because, despite Oliver’s cruel insistence Nathaniel not call her Mama, Henrietta was his son’s mother in all but blood.
She gave him a real smile now. “And it would be so good for Nathaniel to have siblings. A large family, just like mine. He’ll be a splendid big brother.”
Something in Oliver’s chest reached up and grabbed his throat, choking him, forcing him to blink away tears. He did not deserve to share a house or a name with this miraculous creaturewho was so unstinting in her love and generosity towards his son.
And she wanted a large family. This would not be a one-time occurrence. Oliver might be expected—nay, welcome—in her bed for years to come.
“But I will let you think on it,” she said, nodding. “I know you do nothing without weighing the matter carefully.”
Nothing, except importune a girl who only meant to comfort a sad, old man.
She went on.“And you made it perfectly clear when we married that we would not— I mean, I know you would prefer?—”
What did she think he would prefer?
“—for us to be as brother and sister.”
Never once had he thought of her as a sister.
He had thought of her as someone far too young to be saddled with him as a husband.
He had thought of her with gratitude and admiration for how she had gladdened his and Nathaniel’s lives and the lives of everyone around them.
He had thought of her with a deep, dark, pulsing, possessive, disgustingly animal lust.
He had never harbored a single brotherly feeling towards her.
“Yes, I will think on it.”
She beamed at his answer, and he picked up his newspaper and unfolded it, only to stare at it blindly, completely unable to comprehend a single sentence.
With just four words—I want a child—she had turned his world topsy-turvy. His orderly mind had dissolved into a jumble. His usually placid blood raced, a hot and greedy river drenching every organ of his body.
And dread and hope gnawed at his heart, in equal measure.
