His mouth dropped open and he stared up at her, a goddess, and he, a mere mortal, worshiping at her feet.
“What did you say, darling?”
“I recommend you get a thpethial lithenthe right away. B-b-b-before I forget what you did to me with your tongue.”
Nineteen
Caroline closed the drawing room door behind her. She never should have agreed to her brother’s stipulation that she meet and talk with Phineas Edge. Predictably, her resistance had been eroded bydarling. Then, his scent. And his kisses. Then any remaining shards of opposition had been utterly vanquished with the touch of his mouth to her most private place. She was a slave to her desire for him.
But, she comforted herself, if she were to be enslaved, there could be worse men to be in thrall to.
She wanted him. Wanted his touch, his body, and the ecstasy he could bring her. Not just on the sofa in her brother’s drawing room but also for some limited period of time in the future, in their marital bed. She wouldn’t have chosen lust as the foundation of her marriage, but surely it was preferable that he arouse her rather than disgust her. After all, as her husband, he would be her only bed partner for the rest of her life, even if she would not be his.
And her brother liked him. She knew there were a good many people her brother did not like.
She climbed the stairs to her bedchamber. And Phineas seemed a happy man, didn’t he? She didn’t know any other happy people. Maybe she would learn the secret to happiness from him.
In the nine times she had been in his presence—why did she know that number exactly?—he had never mocked her. Never belittled her. He had never lost his temper. All the most importantnevers.
But she didn’t feel the security she had expected she might feel with a husband. How could she, when she had so little control over herself in Phineas’ presence? And when she knew his interest in her would be fleeting.
And when she would have to guard herself every moment to keep her heart safe.
But she was used to feeling unsafe from living with her father’s moods for so many years, never knowing when he would rage at her or ignore her. And she knew the world could change in the blink of an eye. Just look at her own life. One day, a hopeful girl in her first Season. The next day, a prisoner in mourning for her mother.
And now, her life had changed again in another blink. With a wicked tongue and ayesand aplease. Now she was to be a wife, and maybe, a mother herself. Destinies she had given up long ago as impossible. Destinies that could keep her out of an asylum forever.
Oh, please God, let her do everything right going forward. Let her not love her husband. Let her prove to herself she was not weak, not hateful, not a villain. Let her have sons for Phineas, or at least one. An heir who would keep his mother safe. Even though she had not been able to do that for her own mother.
The next day was her birthday. January twenty-sixth. She was thirty years of age. She had gotten engaged before she turned thirty.
A large bouquet arrived for her in the morning. Her first gift of flowers, ever, in her life. Thirty red roses with a card.
Caro.
Thank you for saying yes, darling. And happy birthday.
Phineas.
How had he known it was her birthday?
She arranged the long, thorned stems in a vase herself and put them on her dressing table.
She looked at them for a long time, as if they were a painting. She didn’t like that the roses made her feel as if he were in the room with her, calling herdarling. Several times, the urge came to her to defenestrate the roses, vase and all. But she didn’t.
In the afternoon, he paid a call. She hesitated. Could she ask the butler to tell Phineas she was not at home? She didn’t feel up to seeing him, not after how his flowers had made her feel so unsettled. But one couldn’t really refuse a call from one’s betrothed, could one?
She took Lavinia downstairs with her and was pleased to see Edmund was in the drawing room along with Phineas. She and the earl would not be alone. She would not find herself panting and sprawled over the sofa today.
Maybepleasedwasn’t the right word. Maybe, in fact, it was the opposite of the right word.
Because her future husband’s hazel eyes were sparkling, and as soon as he grinned at her, she was already undressing him in her mind.
He hadn’t even saiddarling. Or put on his spectacles.
“Lady Caroline.” Phineas bowed. Lavinia loped over to him as if she knew she would be welcome, and Phineas stroked her head and rubbed her ears. Lavinia turned to have Phineas scratch her hind end and her wagging tail thwapped against a brown paper-wrapped parcel leaning on Phineas’ leg. The parcel began to fall over.
“Whoops.” Phineas bent over quickly and caught it. “It wouldn’t do for Miss Lavinia to ruin your birthday present before you even saw it.”
