Oh, the throbbing and the frenzy she was causing in him. The unbelievably sweet thrill of doing this with her. And the wonderful agony of pushing back against his overwhelming desire to lift her up and put her astride him and have her sex against his with only his trousers between them.
She took her hands from his face and unbuttoned his coat and then hers and took the hand he had on her waist and put it on her dress-covered breast.
He held his hand still at first as she continued to kiss him. Then he squeezed ever so slightly. She moaned. He squeezed with more force. How wonderful, so firm and yet soft, such a perfect handful of flesh. Oh, how he longed to see it.
Now he wanted to see her naked breast. Could he never be satisfied?
She broke her mouth from his, panting.
“We don’t have much time today,” she said. “Either the snow will come and we will have to break off our journey or it will get so cold Ewen will have to come inside the carriage.”
“Ye are in a hurry, then,” he said.
“Yes,” she said.
“But we must be careful,” he said. He felt he should say this. Be the voice of caution to this tiny but unbelievably powerful force of nature who had the capacity to induce an ache in his heart that matched the one in his groin. “There is so much hurt that can come from impulsive acts.”
She knit her brows together. She got off her knees and sat next to him. His hand slid from her breast as she moved, and his fingers ached, missing the roundness and the softness already.
“Is it impulsive though? It has been more than three and a half years,” she said. “In the eyes of the world, I am already ruined because I was headlong and foolish. But the foolishness was in the man I used as a substitute for you. And there need be no danger of a child, Dr. Andrews.” She ran her hand over the front of his fall.
He groaned. “Miss Lovelock, I am sorry, I dinnae ... I mean, I do want ...”
He felt her hand move and he looked down as she unbuttoned his fall and his engorged sex sprang free and she grasped it.
For the first time in his life, he felt a hand other than his own on his member. He shuddered as she wrapped her fingers around it. Her small hand. The world fell away and all he could feel was the most intense pleasure centered on his cock. He was unable to resist but he felt he should make her aware of his limitations.
“I ... Miss Lovelock. I willnae ken ...”
“I will show you, Dr. Andrews. I know you know the feminine anatomy in question.”
And then she moved her hand.
That one swift rub on his shaft, from the base up to the head of his member, combined with his imagining of her own most private place, undid him. A dizzyingly swift climb to the heights of pleasure. And then, to his enormous shame, with only a split-second warning, he spent himself.
He was only glad that he did not get it on her coat or on her dress. Otherwise, he had no place in his heart or head for anything but mortification.
He could not find the words to express himself. His speech had fled. But what was there to say? There could have been no worse outcome for this moment.
He could not look at her. He turned from her, knowing that his face was the same color as his hair. He fumbled with his trousers, to button himself up and to get away. From her.
The woman he craved with every bit of himself.
She would not want him now.
He felt her get up from beside him and move around him so that she was on the seat on his other side and he could not escape her. His eyes were down but she put her face close, and he felt the softest brush of her lips on his. A hand on his hand, staying him, so that the fall of his trousers was left open.
“Have you coupled with a woman before, Doctor?”
Here it was. How he wished now he had taken up the offers from other women in the past. So that he could have been better prepared for her touch. So that he would have made his mistakes with those others instead of the woman he hoped to make his wife.
But she had bravely faced her past with him yesterday.
“Nae.”
“But you like women?”
He raised his face to her. “Aye!” He did not want her to be in any doubt of that.
