I stare at him for a second. I think he’s getting genuinely attached to her, which is weirdly sweet and also mildly terrifying. She absolutely will destroy his things, and he’s about to find that out the hard way.
His breath hitting the back of my neck soothes me, and I close my eyes, finally letting myself relax. The second I do, I’m back on the ground, concrete slamming into the back of my head. Something thick lodges in my throat, and I try to swallow, but it won’t go down.
Panic starts clawing through me, and I can’t breathe. My heart pounds so hard it hurts, hammering against my ribs. The taste of copper fills my mouth from where I’ve bitten down on my tongue, and my hands start shaking uncontrollably. I try to make them stop, but they just shake harder, trembling against my will.
Alexei notices, and I feel him loosen his grip on me, pushing himself up to look at me.
I’m not okay. I’m really not okay.
All these months of being in constant fear finally crash down on me. It hits me like a freight train, and I can’t control thefull-body panic and sobbing that tears out of me. My chest heaves as I struggle to breathe, everything around me feeling both overwhelming and strangely numb. I’m so tired. So tired of being scared all the time.
“I’m here. Tell me what you need.”
His voice cuts through the mess in my head, but I can’t answer him. The words are trapped somewhere between my lungs and my mouth. Instead, I turn around and bury my face into the crook of his neck, breathing in that familiar scent and letting his solid warmth steady me. His arms tighten around me, and his lips press against my temple.
“Breathe with me,” he murmurs against my hair, his voice low and steady. “In. Out. Just like that.”
I try to follow his rhythm, my sobs slowly turning into shaky, uneven gasps. His hand moves in slow, comforting circles on my back, and something in me cracks open. Relief mixing with grief.
“No one will ever hurt you again. I will make sure of it.”
The rational part of my brain knows that’s impossible. He can’t control the whole world.
“I’m not going anywhere, Kelly.”
My breathing evens out, the panic slowly retreating like a wave withdrawing from shore. Instead of pulling away, I cling to him desperately, arms wrapped around him like he’s the only thing keeping me from drowning. He’s become my anchor without me even realizing it, the only thing that makes sense in a world that’s been trying to destroy me slowly but surely.
“Better?” he asks after a few minutes, his thumb gently brushing over my cheekbone.
I nod against his neck, still not trusting my voice to work. Still afraid I’ll start crying again if I try.
“Good.” He presses another kiss to my temple, gentler this time. “Do you want to eat something?”
My breath catches, and I shake my head against him. He hums in response, the sound vibrating through me. His breathing evens out beneath me and exhaustion hits all at once. The panic attack drained everything out of me, leaving me hollow and wrung out.
“Thank you,” I whisper.
“For what?”
“For not letting me fall apart alone.”
For holding me together when I couldn’t do it myself.
For making me feel less alone.
His arms tighten around me. “You don’t have to go through any of this alone anymore.”
My eyes drift closed, and I let sleep pull me under again, knowing he’ll be there when I wake up.
Chapter 22
Kelly
The past week has been a blur of sleep and headaches, most of it spent in Alexei’s bed. Today is the first time I’ve actually felt better, but it’s still been rough.
Gary’s been texting me nonstop about when I’m coming back to work, but that’s the least of my problems now.
I push myself up from the bed and immediately regret it when the room tilts sideways. I brace against the mattress, wait for my vision to stop swimming. Still recovering from the concussion. I make my way to the living room, one hand trailing along the wall for balance, but I don’t see or hear anything. The entire house is eerily silent.
