“Zaychik.”
“Hmm?”
“I meant what I said earlier. About people staying away from you.”
My brain takes a second to process that. I don’t even know what to do with that information. I huff out a laugh and tilt my head back to look at him. His brown eyes are dead serious, no trace of humor anywhere.
“You can’t just say things like that, Alexei.”
“You needed to know.”
“Normal people say ‘I care about you’ or ‘You’re important to me.’”
“I don’t do normal.”
No. No, he really doesn’t.
His arms tighten around me, possessive and solid and so him that I don’t even know what to do with it. This is probably the most romantic thing he knows how to say. Threats instead of feelings. Murder instead of love confessions.
Fucked up. But somehow it works.
“Okay,” I say against his shoulder, too tired to unpack whatever the hell this means for us.
He hums, and I realize I just let a man threaten murder on my behalf without arguing.
I should probably be more concerned about what I just agreed to.
Later. I’ll worry about it later.
Chapter 13
Alexei
What we did together just confirmed how fucked I am.
I’m going to get both of us killed, and I know it. I can’t stop. The need consumes everything else. I got to taste him, and now there’s no going back.
My phone keeps lighting up with missed calls. I turn it off. Turn it back on. Then off again. They know something is wrong. I never disappear like this. Never ignore them.
But I can’t leave. Can’t care about anything except the way Kelly looks at me, the way he tastes, the way he says my name. I am choosing him over everything I was raised to be. Over duty. Over survival.
And I still can’t fucking stop.
If I could lock him in a room with no windows and doors, just me and him forever until the world forgets we ever existed, I would. The thought almost makes me smile.
When he fell asleep on me last night, I counted every single freckle on his face and memorized them so I can close my eyes and still see him when I’m not with him.
The way he looks at me when I touch him, the sounds he made, it’s burned into my brain like a brand. I want to hear itagain and again. Want to make him fall apart under my hands until he forgets his own name and knows only mine.
I should walk away right now while I still can, but the thought of leaving him makes my heart ache. He’s mine now, whether he fully understands that or not, and I’d rather die than let anyone else have him.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” Kelly’s voice cuts through my thoughts.
“Nothing,” I say, then pop another piece of pancake into my mouth.
I brought breakfast for us after my morning run. I’m not letting him starve himself to death just because he’s too stubborn to ask for help. I even scheduled groceries to be delivered every week since he survives on almond milk and whatever sad excuse for a sandwich he calls a meal, which is completely unacceptable.
He mumbles something into his plate.
