He lets go and steps back like nothing happened. Looks at me with a small smile, easy and soft, like he didn’t just completely destroy every defense I have.
My mother hugged me when I was small. Before I became this. Before I learned that affection is weakness and it gets you killed. I forgot what that felt like until Kelly. Now I remember everything I lost. All those years of no one, and now him. It’s too much and not enough at the same time.
“Have a good night, Alexei.”
I stare at him for a beat longer. “You too.”
I walk out before I do something that crosses every line we haven’t crossed yet.
Chapter 9
Kelly
Itossed and turned all night, maybe got forty minutes of actual sleep before my alarm went off. At that point, I would’ve welcomed someone breaking in and shoving a pillow over my face. At least then I’d have gotten some rest.
I can’t stop replaying Alexei’s visit last night. There’s just something about him that I can’t shake. I want to hug him again. Wish he’d hugged me back. Felt needy as hell when he didn’t.
I don’t think he’s ever let himself get close to anyone. I doubt he even has friends outside his family. The way he petted and held Clover so carefully, as if he was afraid of breaking her, plays in my head. Nonstop.
I wonder what this is between us. There’s no explanation for why we keep gravitating toward each other. It terrifies me. I can’t shake the feeling that we’re two people who’d given up on connection and stumbled into each other in the worst possible way.
I exhale and rub my temples. Loneliness does things to a person. Makes you desperate. I’ve been isolated for so long that maybe I’m just grasping at any sign of human connection, building castles out of nothing.
The rational part of my brain knows I should stay far away from him.
But the part that’s been aching for months keeps circling back to last night. Every look, every pause, every moment he actually shared something real about himself. I want it to mean something so badly it hurts. He probably doesn’t think about me at all, and here I am spiraling over every word he said.
I wish he didn’t have to leave so abruptly. His phone’s always going off, pulling him away mid-conversation. Whatever he does clearly doesn’t allow for downtime. I try not to think too hard about what kind of work demands that level of constant availability. He’s admitted to killing people. I can connect the dots even if I don’t want to.
“Kelly!”
The grating, nasal shriek of Gary’s voice cuts across the clinic like nails on glass and makes my left eye twitch. I brace myself for whatever fresh hell he’s about to dump on me.
“Yes?” I say, trying not to sound like I want to rip my own face off.
I will not lose my cool today; I absolutely will not.
He stomps over with that awkward, stretched-out height and gray caterpillar eyebrows that have never met a pair of tweezers. He could spend five minutes in front of a mirror and still look like an angry baked potato, but that’s not even the problem since his personality is what makes him truly ugly.
“Have you taken care of the inventory?” he barks. “And the new tool shipment? And Mrs. Chen’s Chihuahua appointment at two?”
I clench my jaw. I am a licensed veterinarian. Not a delivery boy, not a receptionist, not his personal intern who jumps at every demand.
“Yes, Gary,” I mutter, trying not to grind my teeth. “Inventory’s done, tools are unpacked, and Mrs. Chen’s appointment is in twenty minutes.”
He snorts. “People these days have no respect for time, no concept of accountability. I don’t know what’s happened to the world.”
Here we go with another rant.
“She’s not even late yet.”
He glares at me. “She will be. They always are. This is why society is crumbling, because people think rules don’t apply to them. We should put a sign out front that says five minutes late, appointment canceled, still get charged.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose while he keeps ranting about something that has absolutely nothing to do with dogs or tools or reality in general.
Camilla appears behind him. She makes a small circling motion next to her ear and points straight at Gary’s back. I clamp my mouth shut to keep from laughing. She mouthsgood luckand disappears before he can turn around. Gary’s still ranting when I slip away. I need to check on the animals in recovery and grab coffee before Mrs. Chen gets here.
Twenty minutes later, I’m washing my hands at the sink in the break room when Camilla pokes her head in. “Mrs. Chen and Dolly are ready in room five.”
