We all start pulling food onto our plates. The turkey’s dry as hell. I don’t say anything because she always sends the staff home for the holidays so they can be with their families, which means she actually cooked this herself.
“I think I just chipped a tooth on the Sahara you call dinner,” Yulian says, chewing right through another bite without any filter whatsoever.
Everyone groans.
Mother swallows slowly, her jaw tightening. “I spent time making this food. So eat it,” she says, pointing her knife at him without even raising her voice.
Yulian gives her a look but shoves another piece in his mouth anyway. He’s not completely suicidal.
I glance at Kelly. He’s been chewing the same bite for a full two minutes. His eyes flick toward me like he’s begging for help or permission to spit it out.
Lev clears his throat to break the tension. “So, Kelly. Tell us about yourself.”
He finally swallows and reaches for his water. “I’m a veterinarian. Between jobs right now. My boss was kind of an asshole, and he died.”
Mikhail snorts with amusement. “Yeah, I heard he choked on a cookie.”
He stabs a piece of potato with his fork, eats it, then immediately picks up a napkin and spits it into it without any shame.
I scratch my forehead with my middle finger aimed at Mikhail. He replies by scratching his jaw with his.
My mother doesn’t even blink. “What do you mean he choked on a cookie?”
Kelly glances at me, his eyes wide with silent panic.
Mikhail coughs into his fist and blurts, “Alexei killed him.”
“You did what?” she asks.
I give him a glare that could cut glass. “Technically he killed himself with that cookie. I had planned to break his neck and push him down the stairs.”
I point my fork at Yulian. “I could have rigged a gas explosion. But that takes out the houses next door too. I don’t like unnecessary mess. You, on the other hand …”
Lev shifts in his chair and opens his mouth like he’s about to launch into some lecture, but our mother cuts him off before he can start.
“Why would you say such a thing? We don’t murder in this family,” she says deadpan, not even looking up from her plate while she cuts another piece of dry turkey.
Yulian scoffs. “You can stop pretending, Mama. If Kelly’s with Alexei, I’m sure he knows that psycho kills people for fun by now.”
Kelly stiffens beside me. I slide my hand onto his thigh under the table, just a calm touch to anchor him. He grabs for mine immediately and clutches it tight.
“I heard about your and Mikhail’s little murder spree that night,” Yulian says. “Three policemen in one night, how very thorough of you both.”
“If you don’t shut up, you might be next. And since you’re so interested in our work, one of those three was that retired detective that Father wanted eliminated.”
He scoffs and leans back in his chair. “Right, like you’d risk our father’s wrath by touching his favorite son.”
I pick up my knife and throw it at his head without hesitation.
He ducks just in time, and the blade hits the wall behind him, sticking there and still humming from the force. He shoots me a glare.
Kelly stares at me with his mouth open, then turns to look at the knife embedded in the wall. Doesn’t say a word, just blinks at it like he’s processing what just happened.
My mother sighs. “Can we please have one normal holiday where we don’t throw knives? I’ve had to say this to all of you since you were children. What is the matter with you?”
Mikhail snorts. “Kelly’s gonna think we’re all psychopaths.”
Kelly rubs the back of his neck with his free hand, eyes still on the knife, then glances down at where I’m gripping his thigh under the table. He mutters something I can’t catch.
