I shake my head and keep climbing.
Camilla left the door unlocked, so I walk in, still glancing over my shoulder. The smell of Thai takeout hits me hard and makes my stomach growl.
I haven’t been great at taking care of myself since my mom died. Feels like I’ve been stuck in a loop of grief and survival mode, just going through the motions without really living.
I wish my father still lived close, but grief hit him harder. He sold everything and took off to Vegas like his life was the only one that had been destroyed. Midlife crisis, my ass. He left me with nothing.
Am I bitter toward him? Yeah, I am.
He abandoned me when I lost her too. The difference is I stayed and dealt with the aftermath while he ran. We used to be close when I was growing up.
He was a firefighter and someone I looked up to. I’d visit the station and would climb inside the trucks. I wanted to be a firefighter, until I realized that life wasn’t meant for me. I thinkthose years of seeing trauma at work, and then losing her, just finally made him snap.
My mom was the best parent I could’ve asked for. Kind, supportive, never made me feel like I had to be anyone other than myself. She was the first person I came out to, and she didn’t even blink, just pulled me into a hug and told me she loved me.
When Camilla’s dad went to jail, and things got bad at her house, Mom let her stay with us without hesitation. That’s just who she was.
Camilla’s been like a sister ever since.
I come to an abrupt stop when I spot her near the moving boxes. Camilla spins around with her hands on her hips. “Okay, no. We talked about this. You need to unpack. This isn’t healthy.”
I roll my eyes and step inside, closing the door behind me. “Don’t start.”
I love her, but Jesus. Not today.
“Mhm. We’re fixing this, Kelly. What a mess.” She waves toward my room. “Tadaaa. Look what I did.”
“Wow. You weren’t kidding about the bunny palace. You really went all out … This is incredible.”
She’s set up a fenced area next to my bed with a pink waterproof mat on the floor, a litter box, bowls, water, toys, and there’s even a tunnel she can crawl through. The whole thing opens up so she can roam if I leave it unlocked.
I grin. “You’re already spoiling her.”
Camilla snorts and walks up behind me. “It’s perfect. And I went to the store, by the way. Your fridge had the nutritional value of drywall, so I bought actual vegetables and food for you.”
She nudges my shoulder, and I grunt, dropping to my knees. I open the cage and let the rabbit into her new setup, then sit back and watch her explore.
“So, what are we naming her?”
Oh right … I hadn’t even thought that far. I scratch the back of my head and try to come up with something. “What about Clover?”
“That’s good. She’s your lucky bunny.”
“Yeah, exactly.”
We end up on my bed with empty Thai containers scattered at our feet and Clover asleep between us. AFriendsepisode plays in the background on my laptop. We haven’t been paying attention for a while since we’ve just been talking. Mostly work gossip, complaining about Gary, laughing. Both of us feeling the slight buzz from the wine.
“You know it’s Friday night,” she says, nudging my knee. “We should go out somewhere, do something.”
“What, like a club?”
“Obviously. Both of us need to get laid, and you’re a great wingman.”
Clubs really aren’t my thing, and I don’t even remember the last time I had a proper night out or drank like this with anyone. It’s been hard letting people in again after everything that happened. It’s like I forgot how to exist without waiting for something to go wrong.
Part of me feels guilty even considering it. Like I don’t deserve to go out and have fun when everything’s still a mess … whenI’mstill a mess.
But maybe that’s exactly why I should go. Maybe I need to remember what normal feels like before I forget completely.
