It’s not quite afternoon tea at the Ritz, but it’s clear that the medical team looking after Rose’s IV infusions do everything they can to make the experience, if not enjoyable, then certainly not unpleasant.
‘Do you want a splash more milk in that tea, my love?’ asks one of the staff as she hands me a cup and saucer.
‘No, that’s perfect, thank you.’
‘And help yourself to biscuits, won’t you? They’re not just for the patients,’ she adds, before disappearing with the plate.
‘I feel a bit guilty eating these,’ I tell Rose. ‘NHS resources and all that.’
‘I don’t think one chocolate Hobnob is going to make much of a dent into a multi-billion-pound budget, somehow,’ she says.
I glance at the IV in her arm. ‘How long will that be in for?’
‘Forty minutes,’ she says. ‘You really didn’t need to come, you know. I’m getting used to this now.’
‘Don’t be silly. Besides, you’ve had to put up with listening to my woes about Leo. You probably won’t invite me again.’
‘Oh, it’s fine. I still don’t believeanyof this about my gorgeous godson,’ she smirks. ‘It’s clearly allyourfault.’
I snort. ‘Thanks.’
‘If it means anything, he really is never anything other than lovely when I see him. Nora says the same. A model student.’
‘Oh, I know. I hear this all the time. He saves all his vitriol for me.’
She chuckles, then frowns sympathetically. ‘Oh, you poor thing. So, come on. Give me all the gossip from the awards. And don’t leave anything out.’
She already knows the headlines – about Jamila and the team missing out on their prize – but I fill her in on the stuff she really wants to know about: what everyone was wearing, seeing Martin O’Donoghue, my ‘experience’ with the young actor, and the fact that while, overall, she was right about the dress, she was very, very wrong about the bra.
‘Did the handsome Zach go?’ she asks.
I take a sip of tea and study the saucer as I place it back down. ‘Yeah, he was there,’ I say casually.
‘Jeff is adamant that he’s got the hots for you, you know.’
I tut. ‘Jeff also predicted that Denise Dandy was going to embark on a wild love affair with one of the school governors just because he complimented her handwriting during a safeguarding meeting once.’
‘Well, he seemed pretty determined about it. His exact words were, “He seemed completely besotted”.’
I scoff and pull an odd expression, as if I can’t decide whether to shake my head or roll my eyes.
She’s looking at me now, through narrowed eyes. ‘What aren’t you telling me?’
I realise immediately that there is absolutely zero point in keeping up any further pretence.
‘Oh, where do I start,’ I sigh, but as it turns out, the entire story comes out in one jumbled stream of consciousness. I tell her about how I couldn’t stand Zach when we first met, partly because I was worried he was trying to win Rose’s job for himself.
Then I tell her that I began to realise he wasn’t the arsehole I’d initially thought and, besides, he swore blind he was not going to stay in the position. I explain that, as well as beingmore talented than I’d given him credit for, he is also nice, funny and . . . weirdest of all, he’s ignited some long-dead part of me and caused all kinds of confusing and, yes okay,sexyfeelings that are very nice but frankly can’t be normal at my age. And that, as a result, I ended up in his bedroom, ready to spend the night swinging from the chandeliers – which yes, he did have in his room – until we were interrupted by Andrea.
‘Did she want to join in?’ she asks, raising a mischievous eyebrow.
‘Oh God,don’t,’ I snort. ‘I was hiding in the bathroom at the time. And either way – just as I was hoping to resume matters – he got cold feet. Told me he was going back to the US. That everything was far more complicated than it had initially seemed. So, the upshot is . . . you really do have nothing to worry about in terms of your job.’
‘Wow,’ she says. ‘So what did you do?’
‘I skulked back to my room and read three chapters of my Phillipa Perry book.’ I don’t add that I was in such a state of frenzied, unchannelled lust by then that even that didn’t cool me down.
‘Lisa, why haven’t you told me any of this?’ she says, with a disbelieving tone.
