Find a baseball club for Jacob
Reinstall Drinkaware app
Switch energy provider
Buy socks (both kids)
REMEMBER TO TAKE STUPID EXPENSIVE COLLAGEN
Descale kettle
‘Is that kettlereallystill on there?’
Rose shakes her head, amused, as she glances at my phone. ‘Go on, just delete it. Youknowit’s never going to happen.’
‘Yes, it is,’ I say defiantly. ‘One day. I’ve already bought the descaler tablets. Not sure where I’ve put them, but still . . .’
The first time I came to hospital with Rose, I felt like a spare part. I couldn’t really work out what my role was supposed to be as we sat in the waiting room and I could only waffle on about nothing of consequence. I felt as if I should be providing words of wisdom, advice, or at least a discussion more profound thanFirst Dates Hotel.
It took a couple of appointments before something became clear. I wasn’t there for wisdom. The waffle was the whole point. I suppose cancer is a shit topic of conversation for anyone, especially if you’re the one who’s got it. Since then, on the occasions when I’ve accompanied her for appointments with her consultant breast surgeon, or now, for radiotherapy, it’s been the same story. We’ve talked a lot about what she’s going through since her diagnosis, but quite often she prefers to stick to subjects she activelyenjoysslagging off, such as my ex-husband.
‘He bought the boyswhat?’ she asks when I tell her about Brendan’s latest gift.
‘A hamster,’ I reply.
‘Idiot,’ she mutters, then catches my eye. ‘Sorry, but he is.’
I’ve tried to resist becoming a stereotypical man-basher since the divorce, but Rose has no such qualms. But then, she is married to someone who considers himself the luckiest man alive to have found her – which sets the bar impossibly high. She thinks I deserve the same love and happiness that have been lavished on her; in fact, she thinks everyone does. Thiswould make her a romantic if she wasn’t so cynical about almost everything else.
‘Doesn’t he think you’ve got enough to look after, between a full-time job, two kids and a kettle to descale?’ she adds.
‘It’ll all get a bit easier once I’ve got the PTA Wine Quiz out of the way,’ I tell her, knowing that, since we’ve been in here, I’ve probably accumulated 16 new WhatsApp messages on this very topic.
‘Well, you know my view on that. You’ve only got yourself to blame for signing up.Whywould you volunteer to organise something like that?’
‘I’ve got an affliction,’ I tell her. ‘If someone asks for a helper, I can’t bear the sound of silence. My hand shoots up before I can stop it happening.’
