‘Why do people even drink?’ he asks, incredulously. ‘It’s . . . horrible.’
‘It certainly can be. Especially if you have that much. The problem is that it can be hard to judge.’
He shudders. ‘I can’t believe Grandma saw me like that.
I amneverdoing that again. I mean it.’
The look on my face must suggest I find this hard to believe.
‘It’s true,’ he leaps in. ‘I don’t want to be some arsehole who messes up his life.’
‘Okay . . .’
‘So I’m staying at sixth form,’ he declares. ‘I’ve decided. I’ve looked at the rugby academy’s academic results and I know they’re awful. So I’m not going to go.’
I let his words settle in my head. I’ve been pushing him to study and work hard for his GCSES for good reasons – namely that I want him to have options and truly believe that education is the route to a life well lived.
So I should be delighted that, as unpleasant as this whole experience has been, it’s clearly been the wake-up call he needs to knuckle down.
Equally, I am suddenly aware that this is not my future we’re talking about. It’s his.
‘Is that what you really want, Leo? Because . . . I know what I said. Yes, it’s not the place to go if you want to get great A level results and go on to university. But I also know how much you love sport. I suppose what I’m really saying is . . . this is up toyou.’
He takes a moment to take this in. ‘Really?’
‘One hundred per cent. This is your future, your decision. Wherever you end up – whether it’s sixth form, rugby college, or joining the circus . . . I’ll support you.’
His mouth seems to harden as he fights back emotion. ‘Okay. Thanks.’
‘You don’t need to rush into any decisions.’
He nods, looks at his hands.
‘Come here,’ I say and pull him in for another brief hug.
‘Just so you know, on balance, I’d rather youdidn’tjoin the circus,’ I say.
He snorts and pulls back. It’s so nice to see a smile on his face. ‘What’s for dinner?’
‘Spaghetti bolognese. It’s nearly ready if you want to go and set the table.’
‘Sure.’
The three of us sit down to dinner together and I dish up. As the boys begin to tuck in, Jacob tells us a joke he heard on YouTube.
‘What do you do if you see a fire man?’
Leo looks at me sideways and smiles.
‘I don’t know matey, what do you do?’ he says.
‘Put it out,man!’
He’s so delighted with himself that it doesn’t matter how unfunny this is, all Leo and I can do is join in.
‘I’ve got a better one,’ Leo says. ‘What’s the best part about living in Switzerland?’
‘I don’t know,’ Jacob replies.
